CITY MAGAZINE (Volume 3)

TITLE           CITY Magazine
EDITOR          Mike Barnett
PUBLISHER       Diverse Media Ltd.
                164 Deansgate
                Manchester M60 2RD
PRICE           £2.00 per issue
PUBLISHED       First Monday of every month

NOTE            A percentage of the revenue generated by CITY Magazine
                goes into the Club's promotion fund...

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 1

Remember the sense of excitement before the Portsmouth match? Encouraging pre-season, (sexy) new kit, Kinkladze still with us and The New Alan Shearer leading the line against his old club (promising script). Problem left-back position filled with a genuine Manc and a blonde Dutchman in midfield. Full house basking in the Maine Road sun. This time, right? Surely this time? Wrong.

Bradbury, our soldier with the playground looks, didn't get a sniff. Our local-boy-made-good at left-back wasn't and Wiekens turned out to be rather less than a Bergkamp.

Bradbury's quote, disturbing at the time (though we were blinded by hope then), seems darkly comic in hindsight: "£3 million's obviously a load of money, especially for a lad who's only played one season..." He may well stay the club's record signing some time.

Tony Scully, the tiny Irish winger, is interviewed here. He had his touchpaper lit at Gigg Lane and he shone briefly but brightly before falling to earth to be extinguished. He may well stay the club's last winger for some time.

City played to Sunderland's script at their magnificent new Stadium of Light and gave Niall a gift début goal. Awayday Blues features what could be our last league visit there for some time.

Our own supposed new stadium is pictured here, and also looks worth a visit. But you can park your backside in Sunderland's whereas you'd crush the model of ours, so we'll still be playing at Maine Road for some time.

The boy Blues this season include two sets of identical twins and another Michael Brown. This issue also has a review of a successful pre-season, for what it's worth, and a team poster folded in the middle. No chairman this year, but ten coaching staff and an awful lot of players. Or was it a lot of awful players?

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 2

Weighty one this, and value for money, as it includes a copy of the new official merchandise catalogue (available separately, but with a cover price of £2 to you, squire). The cover features the joy of six against Swindon, but of course they couldn't keep it up and were soon impotent at Ipswich.

Re-reading this issue after a few months, October seems an awfully long time ago now. For instance, do you remember how we - mostly - still had faith and hope in Frank Clark? Here "a short chat... soon blossomed into a major interview" with our 300th post-war manager. Frank obviously recognised what he was up against: "... There seems to be an almost hysterical edge to the reporting of this football team that I have never experienced before anywhere in my whole career."

But it was the team's failings allied to his erratic selection that finally did for him. David Morley's equaliser at Bury is featured here and the young 6ft 4in centre-back shows insight into why he would soon return to the Maine Road shadows: "Bury liked a bit of long ball up to the forwards and to be honest I'm made for heading, so it'll probably be against that kind of team that I get my next chance."

And do you remember how eagerly we were awaiting the return from injury of Richard Edghill, interviewed here, after nearly two years? The early season games are reviewed here and hint at what was to follow: dominating then failing to beat Tranmere; the cup knockout by Blackpool; the misleading blip at Forest; the desperate and historic home defeat by Norwich.

There is a - possibly unique - photograph of a Blue with the Premiership trophy; the blueprints (literally) of the new souvenir shop; Summerbee Senior, squeezed into an XL '69 Cup Final shirt, scaring little children; and that wretched - or retching - eagle appears everywhere.

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 3

Our own wee Braveheart, man-of-the-moment Paul Dickov, gives you the eye from behind a fence on November's cover. Could be Barlinnie Prison; may just be the Platt Lane Complex. The new crowd favourite says that he wanted to take the penalty against Reading that Gio missed, but his request somehow got lost in translation (surely Glaswegian and Georgian are sister tongues?). An interview with Paul Lake (Youth team, 1987) is illustrated with pictures from his testimonial match. Beckham, Giggs and, er, Poborsky all feature, reminding us of what we're missing. Lakey's perfect day was made before the game, when his wife gave birth to their first child, son Zak (Youth team, 2017).

There's a Hobson's Choice of centrefolds - Kinkladze or McGoldrick; a group of celebs at Lakey's testimonial not including Nick Leeson; and a short piece on Dr Chris Murray, author of some curious little studies of "crowd psychology" at Maine Road. The literally stage-managed, and bomb-scare-interrupted, AGM receives a fair hearing; the first eight Academy pupils have their first fame thrust upon them (Youth team, 2007); the match reports include the sweet six against Swindon; and, finally, Gerard Wiekens has a white golden retriever called Joey (quarantined - in Crewe).

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 4

This is the last issue edited by Steve Anglesey, who has taken the plunge to join the new on-line daily football newspaper, Football 365. This month's cover star is the uninspiring Craig Russell. He expresses concern about house prices in the area and instantly dismays by showing a lack of concern at City's lowly league placing, "...because it's a false position" (echoes of 95-96...).

All the usual features and gloss. Alongside a picture of Kinkladze in the Dynamo Dresden away kit, Steve Sayer explains why it won't be on sale (because it's yellow...). There are pictures of Gio's Ferrari after his control let him down, and a poster of Ray Kelly, which, judging by his performance against Huddersfield, may prove to be something of a collectors' item.

There's a weak interview with Moonchester, Barry Conlon answers 20 questions - "Tell us about your premature baldness, Barry..." and a look at our future stars (boo-boys?) at the Academy as they plan ways of bunking class. Michael Brown, having seen at Hartlepool how the other half lives, explains his competitive performance in Paul Lake's testimonial and completes his rehabilitation by being this month's centrefold. There are six match reports which record only one win (false position, Craig?). And the magazine exclusively reveals the reason why we beat Crewe: we had fifteen players (count them)! Finally, John Maddocks provides an obituary of Gordon Clark, who made his début during the Championship season of 1936-37 and who went on to become a war-time regular for the Blues. But this month's highlight has to be AwayDayBlues, which actually features a pair of breasts (go on, count them!).

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 5

Five leggy blondes on this month's cover. Unfortunately they're all of new Dutch Cap'n, Gerard Wiekens, who tells us that he left Veendam in Holland to play to a higher standard of football. Watching Veendam must be pretty grim then. No less than eight match reviews, including three, yes three, victories. Steady on now lads. We have Away Day Blues at Crewe from a female perspective this time, although it still involves significant quantities of alcohol. And Gresty Road has toilet roll in the Ladies'. There's a small picture of Scott Hiley (remember), a review of a win over West Brom in the F.A. Youth Cup, and our old friend - the Borussia Mönchengladbach representative in the Kaziu Deyna non-lookalike competition - makes another appearance amongst the questions from the City Magazine Grand Quiz Final.

There's a piece on the reunion of Gerry Gow, Tommy Hutchison and Bobby McDonald at the Prestwich Branch, a meeting which seems already to have assumed status as a classic of its kind (and apparently the three gentlemen in question are also not allergic to alcohol). The King of All Geordies, Dennis Tueart, has taken his place in the Court of Pope Pious and is interviewed, without actually giving us any idea of his remit on the Board. "I've got an honest open brief and I'm going there, with sincerity, to do what I can."

Frank Clark offers some avuncular common sense on the potential major changes to the structure of the Football League: "This is football we're selling, not a bag of potatoes." These are the proposals eccentrically named after planets (see MCIVTA 355). Surprisingly, Uranus was not chosen as an option.

This month's centrefold is gorgeous, pouting Murtaz Shelia, looking uncharacteristically limp-wristed (but check out those thighs, girls). And finally, in an exclusive, Richard Edghill reveals that his favourite fizzy drink is Pepsi Max and that he thinks Coronation Street is s**t. So now you know.

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 6

Cover stars for February are the Whitleys, the best duo of footballing brothers to play for City since, erm, the Brightwells. Mike Barnett's interview sheds some light on the short-but-complicated history of gorgeous-pouting Jim and small-but-perfectly-formed Jeff.

Little brother Jeff is refreshingly honest about his decision to opt for Northern Ireland when the international scouts came a-knocking. "I want a long international career, and I'd like to travel the world at the same time," he says. So, no Unionist tuggings at the heart-strings, then.

Everybody's hero, Mike Doyle, is a rare interviewee these days. Naturally he's asked about his infamous anti-Red stance: "I'll get stick for saying this, but it all stems from the Munich Air Disaster. Of course it was a tragedy, but it gave United that goodwill, that sympathetic support that they've been trading on ever since." Interestingly, he maintains that Nicky's dad was "the greatest footballer I ever played with."

Rouge is the colour, but thankfully we don't get a close-up of messrs Symons, Wright, Dickov and Bradbury in their full Junior Blues panto face paint.

Life President and former Director, Sidney Rose, is featured in his eightieth year. He was last seen a year ago on a BBC Northwest TV special giving a wonderful demonstration of old buffery, when, as club representative on the programme, the impression he created was that of the ship's captain who refuses to accept that his vessel is holed and sinking. No mention is made, however, of his rôle in saving Glyn Pardoe's career but we learn that he recommended Don Revie for manager in the eighties.

Gary James, proud author of Manchester - The Greatest City - have you not bought it yet? - actually risked his life to present us with the club's definitive history (okay, slight exaggeration. But he was sat in the Central Library when the IRA bomb went off in June '96. "I remember small bits of plaster falling off the ceiling," he recalls).

This issue features reports on the first consecutive wins of the season, which says it all really.

The posters: a pensive (Nicky) Summerbee; a wistful Quinn; a centrefold Russell; and a gorgeous Kinkladze (Marina, his darling elder sister).

And finally, this month's sticker is Uwe Rösler (no, honestly!).

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 7

New edition, new manager. On his accession to the throne, cover star Joe Royle points the way to a better future (please God!) and to an awful lot of gratuitous regal punning. His first day at the club, culminating in the Ipswich defeat, is covered and features some of the trademark witticisms that should make for more entertaining reading than Frank's mumblings.

Billy McNeill, who initially responded well to Swales' good housekeeping edict but became disillusioned after achieving promotion, regrets leaving Maine Road for the wealthier pastures of Villa Park. And his heart surgery seems to have affected his memory, claiming that we were a better team in 83-4 than Newcastle, who beat us twice (including 5-0 at St. James') and whose side included Keegan, McDermott, Beardsley (who he?) and Waddle.

There's a progress report on the much-hyped and soon-to-be-completed Astrodome at Platt Lane, a look at the two junior teams (including, typically, the 'A' team beating Carlisle 5-0 only for the Cumbrians to pull out of the league and for the result to be expunged!), an airborne awayday Blues ("Stand up when you're one mile up") and an article on some of the best value for money signings of the last twenty-odd years (it's not a very long article!). And finally, it had to come. Reach for the Blu-Tac. Your spiritless centrefold this month is Lee Bradbury.

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 8

"Jamie", says the photographer, "can you give me 'hard-but-interesting'?" Jamie can't oblige. "Okay then", (hiding disappointment), "give me hard." No. "Interesting?" Nope. "Okay", (resignedly), "give me 'unshaven with index finger over top lip in attempt at thoughtfulness with plenty of Kappa on view in classic City Magazine type pose'." This Jamie obliges and thus is born your April coverstar, although unfortunately modelling talent like Jamie's doesn't come cheap and so up goes the cover price (by five forgiveable pence).

There's a change of format to this month's magazine. Instead of the usual two managers and one chairman we get two chairmen and one manager. For the Francis Lee era Mike Barnett opts for the via media and offers a narrative account. Francis is pictured, ambiguously, waving. The electric blue blazer dates the picture to happier times, for he was never able to wave us goodbye. New low/no-profile chairman, David Bernstein, may well have difficulty getting City Magazine from his local newsagents: he lives in London. "Living out of the area is actually an advantage (quite!) because once I get back home I'm away from it all and can think a bit more clearly which is more conducive to to the calmer, more strategic direction that I am planning for the club."

His Royle Highness, harassed by the editor in transfer deadline week, provides his views on some of the club's misfits. Gio: "If I were him, I would train like a demon, and show the manager that I am everything the hype tells me that I am." And, confusingly, on Bradbury: "Lee has the utensils, he has the equipment to do the job." £3 million for a sous chef? Richard Jobson, interviewed and photographed prior to the rearrangement of his dentition by Stockport County, uses the word "bollocking". Tut, tut, must have been watching Reidy on Premier Passions. And finally, no word of a lie, Kit Symons becomes the first City player to feature in the Top 20 of the magazine's own Fantasy Football League. Fantasy football, indeed...

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 9

Publication of this issue was delayed to accommodate the events at the Britannia Stadium and survival/relegation. Unsurprisingly it was the latter and so this marks the second relegation issue in the magazine's three years (might there be something in this, conspiracy theorists?).

The subdued tone of the cover points to an acceptance of the dirty realism that is Division 2. No defiant "We'll be back!" (Vol. 1 Issue 10) this time, only Jamie's meek offering: "We're going to have to get out ... as quick as we can." (Don't want to rush things now, do we lads?)

Post-Stoke, it's hard dredging up enthusiasm for interviews with players bought to keep us up. Shaun Goater, poor sod, left Bristol for The Greatest City only to find he's dropped a division. At least he should be of some use to us next season, but it seems Ian Bishop has returned only to diminish our memories.

One of our blondest sons, Paul Futcher, is interviewed prior to his appearance in the FA Trophy Final as player-manager of Southport (despite having the New Bobby Moore to marshal their defence, Southport lost). Futcher was that model of the classic City transfer: over-rated, over-priced and bought by one manager, mishandled and sold at an embarrassing loss by another.

Only one poster this month - a rare picture of Michael Brown not using two feet - but lots of dinner jacket pictures (of former groundsman Stan Gibson and former footballer Ian Brightwell, amongst others).

The Middlesbrough match review includes a photo of a broken-hearted Steve Vickers wondering why Lee Bradbury has sat down and started crying after receiving the most velvety of kisses at the Riverside.

There's an (appropriately) uninspiring photo-montage of Der Bomber as he departs, bomb bay doors having apparently long since jammed shut and a photo of Georgi with his new (left-handed) Jaguar, which you bought.

Blue-of-the-moment Colin Schindler lists his grievances against United and the motivation behind his book, documentary, film, mini-series, porcelain figurine collection, etc... Schindler offers the common assertion that the essence of supporting City is rain followed by sunshine: "To love them you have to go through these terrible times to experience the high times." Given that our field has been so fallow for so long, we must be due a bumper harvest. Is it this expectation of payback that cripples our club?

Finally, synonym of the month: for "loyalty", read, "comfortable salary, thank you."

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 10

"I was very surprised to win Player of the Year", says cover star Browny. (you were surprised, Michael...). The poor man's Roy Keane is back on form this issue, caught on camera applying stud to Middlesbrough flesh and denying that he has a problem identifying the ball.

There are reminders in this "World Cup Special" that athough it sometimes seems that way, we haven't always been s***e: France '98 is the first tournament sans Bleu since '66. Following a recent thread in McVittee, there's a feature on City's World Cup heroes - and McIlroy, Kernaghan, and Phelan - but no mention of current employee, goalkeeping coach Alex Stepney, who was England's third choice for Mexico '70 (I'll speak with the author). And twenty years on there's an interview with Asa on his part in Ally Mcleod's great delusion that was Argentina '78.

Posters: Pollock squeezes into the centre pages; Dickov is lost in his dad's replica kit (remember Norman Wisdom on the pitch in Reidy's shorts?); and the other Kit (erm...why?). Georgi's gone and the pictures prompt thoughts of when his hair was shorter, his ego quieter and his talent louder; interviews with future contenders Weaver and Fenton (N), both of whom played in the colourful but dire Jamaican match which is also featured here.

There's a question-but-no-answer session with Chairman Bernstein: "I don't subscribe to the cancer theory... there is a feeling that there was a lack of teamwork in the past and we are committed to working together with a fresh approach." Still trying to be upbeat, in the face of the fear and loathing of Division 2, there are Reasons To Be Cheerful (for relegation to the Third Division). Sample: "We can get our passports out as we cross over the Welsh border when we go to Wrexham." And the result of the magazine's Fantasy Football League is announced. It was won by a 9-year-old, whose team included Symons, Wiekens and Vaughan.

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 11

Quiet month, quiet issue. Time, therefore, to reflect on the roll-call of contemporaneous playing staff, featuring no less than 77 (that's seventy-seven) players. Including the dearly departed and the dearly retained; it was a surprise to see Kavelashvili still on the books and Ian Wright's lad has chosen a club 200 miles from dad. Nige is still there, of course (and will be next summer).

Ian Penney, he of Blue Heaven and The Maine Road Encyclopedia, interviews old timer Eric Westwood, one of the 46-47 Second Division champions and possessor of the most fearsome nose in the club's history.

City's latest international and Young Player of the Year, the young gifted and green Jim Whitley, is rewarded with cover star status. At 23, young James is two years older than Player of the Year Michael Brown. He thinks it's daft as well.

John Maddocks kindly reminds us of the opposition to come (are we really playing Colchester and Gillingham? Pinch me please), and there's a 15-year-old's account of a tour round Maine Road (incidentally, I was about that age when I made my only visit to the bowels of The Theatre of Comedy. The lasting memory is of the mammoth Herefordshire FA Cup, which seemed to stretch half way up the wall and was a near-permanent fixture in the trophy room around that time. Hardly surprising really, as the opposition was only Hereford United).

An interesting review of City's enormous away following, based on the number of tickets sold by the ticket office, presages the forthcoming ticket drought. There really were some scarcely credible migrations: 5,324 for the shameful performance - both on and off the pitch - at Vale Park in February; 26,664 saw the denouement at the Britannia Stadium, Stoke - average crowd 14,000 - gave City only 4,773 tickets and then had the audacity to express dismay at the subsequent trouble.

And ticketing hassles seemed to feature heavily at the Centenary Supporters' Association AGM, which is reviewed here.

Finally, the Editor is made to sweat by an alarmingly-painted lady as he previews the £2.2 million Dome Fitness Suite at the Platt Lane complex. The suite is due for an official opening in August and Tony Blair has been invited to cut the tape. It offers technologically advanced training facilities which are approved by the Football Association and used by top athletes. Gerry Creaney has left the club.

VOLUME 3 ISSUE 12

A new season means a new Australian left wing-back. Danny Tiatto is the latest in the great tradition of Australian wing-backs at Maine Road that stretches all the way back to Jason van Blerk. In the interview he tells us that he doesn't like cricket and explains why he wasn't retained after his trial last year: "(Frank Clark) said I wasn't the sort of player he was looking for." Presumably having pace and a left foot counted against him (we've seen what a judge of players Frank is). Note of caution though: he's dislocated his left shoulder around 15 times (inspires confidence, that).

A new season also means a new team, sorry, playing staff, poster. This year's features 37 players - a new record? - compressed into the centre pages. Only Joe Royle of the managerial staff is present (to include them all would have meant another side of A4). Mid-September and already it's out of date. Talking before the Big Kick-Off, the boss names those soon to be airbrushed from the squad - "At this stage it's unlikely that ... Brannan, Heaney, Clough and Russell... would start the season in the team". Pity, I was looking forward to seeing Nige astride the sacred turf once more...

A new career for David White, City's last England international (Graham Taylor was the manager at the time!), after he announced his retirement during the summer due to ankle trouble. Or so we thought: "I haven't given up altogether... if City came in with an offer, there's no reason why I wouldn't go back there." Ye gods.

A new away kit, modelled every other week by the stewards, but here by two blonde babes and two indistinguishable Fentons, features in the new Official Merchandise Catalogue included with this issue (but no mousemat yet - incredible). There's the obligatory gratuitous Michael Owen picture (illustrating Kevin Cummins' World Cup Diary), the ticket officer manager misses the chance to get in his retaliation first, and if you ever wanted to know what Messrs Barnett and Bayley look like, now's your chance. And, especially for us to enjoy, this year brings a nice shiny new division...

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