MAN CITY INFO VIA THE ALPS "McVittee!" #364

DATE Monday 19th January 1998

I started to write this editorial/intro on Saturday after the game but then I remembered it's supposed to be balanced, impartial and objective; unfortunately, it didn't quite seem to fit into any of those categories!

We have a few match reports from the brave faithful and news of more worrying contract developments - is there no end to it? There's also a review of the lastest CITY magazine, a Tokyo mini-gathering, help for other clubs in even worse trouble than us, plenty of opinion (getting angrier) and a superb Why Blue.

This one goes out to 1,861.

MCIVTA - NEWS APPEAL

MCIVTA News used to be sent to me more or less on a piecemeal basis by whosoever felt like submitting it. Of late, Paul Howarth has been collating the news together between issues and has been sending it in as a summary just before publication. However, Paul does an awful lot to keep MCIVTA on the rails and he now feels that he would benefit from having fewer tasks to concentrate on.

In the first instance, we'd like to make an appeal for someone to act as news collator. This could be either someone who has access the 'hot' sources (GMR, MuEN, the Net etc.), i.e., someone in Manchester, or it could be someone else to whom others contribute raw news for collation; naturally, the latter could be further removed from the action. Failing this, we could always go back to the old system where news is sent directly to me. Personally I'd prefer someone else to collate, though it really has to be someone (maybe with a deputy) who can guarantee regular delivery.

If anyone fancies doing this, please let me know.

MATCH REPORT - 'LIVE'

MANCHESTER CITY vs. SUNDERLAND, Saturday 17th January 1998

After almost 25 years exactly since my first and last visit (F.A. Cup 5th Round against Sunderland in 1973 :-)) I returned to Maine Road with the Beverley Blues (we had Pete, a Beverley-based Sunderland fan with us for a change as a late substitution on the tour party) more in hope than expectation. Parking up near the ground was a bit unnerving when I was asked by a young sprog if I'd like him to mind my car - as he looked fairly innocuous I took the risk of declining his services, half expecting to regret it later (I didn't as it turned out).

Fish and chip lunch from the Clarendon Chippy, a tour of the City Store (what a nice change to go into a sports store and not see Rag shirts everywhere!) then off to the bar in the Kippax Upper Tier. Having passed the time before kick off supping and watching 'Definitely Maybe the Greatest City Video Ever' on the monitors (so good I bought the video) we took our seats with hope of the current side recreating the exploits of teams gone by ... and then reality kicked in.

Team selection was a puzzler. If Jim Whitley had been so good in his two games, why wasn't he even on the subs' bench? Ged Brannan listed as one of the subs! As for Sunderland, their line up was announced to derision for Buzzer and warm applause for Niall Quinn - no surprises there. The first half was a pretty scrappy affair, the highlight being Uwe(?) hitting the upright with a close range header but mostly we looked as though too many of the team were having an off day. We gave Sunderland too much space down our left flank (Russell and Shelia didn't seem to knit very well) and it was largely down to Buzzer's lethargy that we got away with it. Even Wiekens seemed to have caught the bug though this may have in part been down to playing out of position in midfield. Dickov and Brown as usual ran themselves ragged but otherwise an unmemorable half came and went, with neither 'keeper having much to do.

The second half started with Gio off (tooth playing up?) and Conlon on and we started with a bit more determination, only for the stuffing to be knocked out of us by Phillips scoring in his 6th successive game (some around us had it as an own goal). Cue minor scuffles in the North Stand as a mindless minority of Blues attempted to get at the joyous Mackems, but the stewards quickly quelled the invasion.

Things fell apart further as Wiekens then Shelia were carried off (Brannan and van Blerk on respectively) in what was becoming an ill-tempered affair. A poor referee was booking people left, right and centre and giving bad decisions too often for the crowd's liking. Edghill had a few good runs down the right and whipped in some fair crosses but to be honest nobody really looked like scoring. The disruption of the flow of play led the referee to add on about 10 minutes of injury time (Birmingham game again, this time it would work for us? nah!) by which time much of the ground was emptying fast. It wasn't to be our day, and Sunderland didn't really have to try very hard to walk off with the points.

There was much talk around us of tactical naïvety; bewilderment as to what Frank wanted the team to do; despair every time Brannan got the ball; anger at an inconsistent ref. I'd have liked to see a bit more positive support for the team but then I guess many of the people around me will be there week in, week out and I'm not really in a position to criticise them given my attendance record :-) Sadly as we headed back to the car, we witnessed some minor skirmishes around the Sunderland coaches. OK so a couple of their fans were daft enough to taunt a crowd of p****d-off Blues but surely we ought to be thick-skinned enough to be able to ignore that sort of thing by now and not resort to thumping other fans? To make matters worse, a Sunderland fan got onto David Mellor's programme on Radio 5 and made observations about the threatening atmosphere in the Main Stand.

So it's West Ham next week - the prospect of Hartson up against a defence possibly stripped of Wiekens and Shelia doesn't bode well given our live TV track record. Then again it would be just like us to beat them.

MATCH REPORT - 'LIVE'

MANCHESTER CITY vs. SUNDERLAND, Saturday 17th January 1998

I have not sent in any reports recently but after watching the performance against Sunderland I feel I have to vent my spleen. We really do have a problem at Maine Road. He is called Frank Clark. To his credit he has brought some good players to the club but seems intent on pushing the self-destruct button with some of his team selections.

Most City fans would have seen a draw today as a bonus, with the more optimistic ones expecting another Middlesbrough. It seemed from the Portsmouth reports that the team had started believing in themselves and may just be on a mini roll (City, not Cadbury's). When the team was announced, most of us were surprised to see us line up with four defenders and Gerard Wiekens playing in a midfield rôle. Say what you like, I am one of Gerard Wiekens' biggest fans, but his strength is in and around the defence. The substitutes beggered belief: Brannan, van Blerk (?) and Conlon (?!). Why no Jim Whitley? Do we operate a rota system for subs, or what? How a manager can justify changing a winning formula is crazy, and potentially suicidal, which is how it turned out. FC has a knack of turning a player's confidence inside out. I suppose we should give credit to FC for giving players the chance to prove themselves but dropping a player out of the squad after impressive performances can only do damage to a player's confidence and make them lose respect for their manager (the Whitleys, Morley, Scully and Margetson are names which spring immediately to mind). It must also make the rest of the squad feel unsettled. It would seem that no matter how well someone plays, their place in next week's team is not guaranteed. One of the first rules in management is to praise good work and reward that person with a continued place until their performances for the team become unacceptable, and they need remotivating by being dropped.

As the teams were read out Quinny got a big cheer from us but Summerbee was left in no doubt as to his popularity, as he was loudly booed every time he touched the ball. It was noticable how well liked Craig Russell was/is by the Wearsiders, as their fans chanted "There's only one Craig Russell... walking in a Russell wonderland" on a number of occasions.

It was quite obvious from the start that the City players were playing in an uncomfortable formation and they struggled to keep hold of the ball. There was simply no pattern. Wiekens was not match fit and was overrun in midfield (a bad injury later on may prove costly). Forget what Peter Reid may say about it being just another match, Sunderland were up for this one, and it showed as they chased and passed the ball around confidently, while City continually pumped the ball upfield, to be beaten every time in the air by the solid Sunderland defence. How FC can ignore Margetson is beyond me because Tommy Wright worries me. OK, he does make some good saves (that's his job) but when the ball is played back to him, I worry. When he has the ball, I worry. When he doesn't have the ball, I worry. At least his distribution is consistent. Consistently appalling, with a good percentage going out of play. How does Margetson feel when he sees this? City produced one or two chances, Perez tipping away one effort, but lacked any real invention. City were lucky to go in 0-0 at half time, as they were undoubtably second best.

Kinky failed to come out for the second half, being replaced by Barreee (fair swap?). The Sunderland fans cheered the change and Sunderland continued to dominate. After ten minutes the inevitable happened when a Summerbee corner (a good foot outside the corner mark) was cocked up by the defence allowing Kevin Phillips to score for the seventh game running. Yes, this is the same player we were chasing in the summer. Was it Russell and Phillips for a million quid? It has to be said that Ian Brightwell and Kit Symons played well, though I don't feel both will be there much longer, when Tskhadadze is in the team. Wiekens and Shelia took bad knocks and were replaced by Brannan and van Blerk. By this time it was obvious we were more likely to concede another, rather than score. Thankfuly this did not happen, but the final scoreline of 0-1 was not a true indication of Sunderland's dominance.

Ratings: Wright (6), Edghill (6), Brightwell (8), Symons (7), Shelia (6), Wiekens (6), Brown (8), Russell (7), Dickov (7), Kinkladze (6), Rösler (7), Conlon (6), Brannan (6), van Blerk (5).

Summerbee got a dig in afterwards, saying how Sunderland had a settled team and squad, which is the reason for their long unbeaten run. Surely City should look to have a 15-man squad and stick with it? Choose the best starting 11 and tell the players that if they play with skill and committment they will stay in the team. That way the team will develop an understanding and the results will improve consistently. If a player is out through injury or suspension, he knows he will only regain his place in the 15 on merit. Another player would be drafted into the 15. If a player is substituted or dropped for lack of effort, then he knows he has to battle to get another chance. If this system were put in place, at least everybody knows where they stand. No player should have a guaranteed place in the team. This is no revolutionary approach! It is how most other clubs in Britain operate, but not FC. The players don't know from one game to the next if they will be involved. Mind you, I don't think Frank Clark does either. Frank Clark's tactics can be summed up in one word... Kamikaze. But there again, Kamikaze may be the name of the next Georgian we sign!

One last point about the standard of refereeing. As many of you know, I ref junior football around Manchester, and, like most refs, I tend to look at a game from the ref's point of view, his positioning, how he works with his assistants. I have to say that the referee, M. D. Messias of York (why do they always tell us where they are from?), definitely lost the plot today. Players from both sides were booked for no reason, he slowed down play by insisting on kicks and throws being taken from the exact place, he allowed Summerbee to take at least three corners well outside the corner area (the referee being no more than 20 yards from Summerbee on each occasion), one of which led to a goal. His strangest decision of the afternoon was when the Sunderland 'keeper went down awkwardly after a challenge. The 'keeper had the ball. He called on the physio, play being stopped for a couple of minutes. When Perez was fit, the referee decided to restart play with a drop ball and dropped the ball at Perez's feet, with no player within 30 yards. Wierd!

MATCH VIEW - SUNDERLAND DÉBÂCLE

Jimmy Wagg: "Did young Jim Whitley not even get a place on the bench then James?"
James H. Reeve: No Jim, the subs were Conlon, van Blerk and Brannan."
J.W.: "It does seem rather strange after the lad produced two sensational performances against Bradford and Portsmouth, maybe he picked up a bit of a knock."
J.H.R.: "Well Jim, we normally do get that kind of information up here in the press box, but nothing has been forthcoming in that respect regarding Jim Whitley."
J.W.: "Well hopefully Andy Buckley, who is trying to get a word with Frank Clark at this moment will be able to clear it up for us. Alan Gowling at Newcastle, would you have given young Whitley a place on the bench?"
A.G.: "No Jim, from the reports I have heard, I would have had him on from the start. It does seem like a strange..."
J.W.: "Alan, I'll have to stop you there as we can now hear Andy Buckley talking to Frank Clark."
A.B.: "Well Frank how did you assess today's disappointment following the two recent wins?"
F.C.: "Very disappointed Andy. We were poor and we just didn't compete and didn't deserve anything from the game."
A.B.: "What was the reasoning behind leaving young Jim Whitley out?"
F.C.: "Well we felt with the quality of the opposition we needed to go for someone with more experience in midfield today."
A.B.: "Not even a place on the bench though Frank?"
F.C.: "Well it was a difficult one, but Ged has shown he can play anywhere across the back as well as midfield so I thought this would give us more options."
A.B.: "Thanks Frank."
J.W.: "Well there you have it, straight from the horse's mouth. Jim Whitley was dropped."

Although the above passage is not verbatim, it is as close as I can remember from my journey home on Saturday. Does it convey the frustration that most City fans feel? I can't bring myself to write about the match as it was pure madness tactically. From the moment a police horse threw up next to me (big time carrots) as I queued up for my West Ham tickets, the day got steadily worse. A midfield of Gio, Michael Brown and Wiekens (surely a defender) which already looked vulnerable, was reduced to farce after Gio's retirement at half time when our pantomime striker Barry Conlon was brought on giving us 3 centre forwards (Dickov and Rösler being the others). City were so dire it made you want to have a go at managing the team yourself. There was a plus point in that we defended reasonably well but the distribution from the back was non-existent. You know the scenario, Tommy Wright has the ball, a couple of defenders give him a token glance to placate the fans before scuttling up to the safety of the half way line. Tommy hoofs it up into the grey January sky as he always wanted to anyway. Let's face it none of our defenders have an ounce of skill and so don't want the ball from the 'keeper. We are most definitely not talking Frank Le Boeuf here chaps. Uwe, Dickov and Baree were all having off days together and the midfield consisted solely of Micheal Brown who again impressed. The only other player to come out with any credit was Russell, but is he really a left wing back?! Sorry there's nothing positive to report and in the grand scheme of things I hope F.C will prove us all wrong but my grave doubts are becoming graver by the week.

MATCH VIEW

This will be short and sweet; if you need more detail, just read any of the myriad of match reports from the last 2 years where we've defended too deep, surrendered the midfield and ended up hoofing balls up to the two front men.

Watching the team run out, I was dismayed to see that Jim Whitley was not amongst them; furthermore, it transpired that he wasn't even on the bench. He'd apparently made way for Wiekens, who - as a result of some arcane management decision - was given a midfield rôle! This naïve tactical move was to set the pattern for the first half and most of the second. Wiekens is an excellent central defender but is most definitely not a midfielder; when playing there, he merely sits just in front of the defence, giving the side a hopelessly defensive look.

Although we did create a couple of chances, including a header which hit the woodwork (Rösler), we conceded the midfield without a fight (Brown excepted) and spent almost the entire match defending 25 yards out. All the usual problems were there: Sunderland built up without a challenge from City and when the ball was played into our packed defence, it was usually headed out straight to a Sunderland player, inviting a shot on goal.

Gio didn't appear in the second half and was replaced by Conlon; apparently he felt ill (tooth abcess; apparently FC was the only person in the ground who was unaware of this fact!). City looked brighter but gave away a really soft goal when a cross was curled in and Phillips nipped in to head home ahead of the lacklustre Brightwell, and past Wright, who I thought ought to have come for the cross.

We all knew that Wiekens was returning from injury, so anyone with half a brain could have guessed that a midfield rôle would be pushing it; Wiekens was duly stretchered off halfway through the second half in what looked like some pain. He was replaced by van Blerk. The injury list then grew longer, with Shelia hobbling off (replaced by Brannan). City did have a few good opportunities but failed to take them; Sunderland were deserved winners.

Ratings:
Wright (5): Atrocious kicking; his hesitancy contributed to the goal IMHO. Why is he preferred to Margetson who is a much superior goalie?
Edghill (6): Made some good runs but fails to capitalise by delivering a good ball into the centre.
Russell (8): Did an excellent job on Buzzer and looked up for it.
Symons (6): Capable performance.
Brightwell (5): At fault for the goal; why do we play him when we have Morley and Beesley (on loan I know) and Wiekens?
Shelia (8): Gets better all the time.
Wiekens (4): Out of position and definitely not match fit.
Gio (7): Made some good runs but looked bored.
Brown (9): Without Brownie we'd have been totally overrun, he made some good surging runs in the second half which should have brought us something.
Dickov (5): Worst game for ages, nothing worked for him, least of all the formation.
Rösler (5): Hardly won anything and hit the deck a lot!
Conlon (5): The service was too poor to show what he can do.
van Blerk (5): Hardly made an impression.
Brannan (2): If he were a horse, I'd shoot him!

Don't kid yourselves, we are in terminal trouble, the Bradford result was very lucky and Portsmouth were apparently clueless. Here are some things to mull over:

• Why was a team which had won two games on the trot inexplicably changed?
• Why was the impressive Whitley dropped and not even given a place on the bench?
• Why was Wiekens given a midfield rôle; we lose an excellent defender and gain an average midfielder.
• Why give a midfield rôle to a defender returning from a hamstring injury? I fear Wiekens may now be out for several weeks.
• Why were we playing for a 0-0 draw at home? and what was the reason for such a fundamental tactical switch against the best team in the division?
• Why wasn't Scully on the bench; guess who was though?
• Why wasn't Wiekens given the captain's armband back?

I have no answers I'm afraid, the only thing I'm sure of, is that barring a transformation of apocalyptic proportions, Sunday 3rd May will be a very sad day indeed!

NEWS - BLUES CLOSER TO GROUND MOVE

Manchester City have moved a step closer to leaving Maine Road and setting up home at the yet-to-be built Commonwealth Games stadium. The club have had "positive" talks with City Council officials at a board meeting earlier this week. City have been considering moving from Maine Road, their home for over 70 years, and becoming tenants at the new Eastlands site, three miles from their current Moss Side home.

The new stadium will be built for the 2002 Commonwealth Games with the aid of lottery money and private business help. The City Council want a big-name tenant for future use and City have been discussing a possible move now for several months. Club chief executive Mike Turner said: "We have not committed ourselves yet but we have moved closer to a positive decision after the Council gave a very exciting presentation to our board meeting this week. We don't have to make a final decision yet but what we saw this week was very exciting. The discussions were very positive." Turner dismissed speculation of friction between the club and the Council over Manchester City's financial involvement. It is believed that it will cost £2 million to install executive boxes and catering facilities into the new stadium and the Council want the club to contribute to the cost. Turner said: "We accept that we would have to spend money to install what we would need at the stadium. We have given the Council a shopping list of what we feel we would need and they have come back to us in a very positive way."

City are likely to rent out Maine Road, maybe in conjunction with the Council, and move to a stadium that would give them a probable 55,000 capacity. Any attempt to redevelop Maine Road and increase its current capacity of 32,000 would be difficult because of opposition from local residents.

NEWS - CONTRACT TALKS

City are currently having contract talks with five senior players. Ian Brightwell, Kit Symons, Martyn Margetson, Richard Edghill, and Uwe Rösler are all reported to be out of contract this summer, and can walk away from the club for nothing. Apparently Brightwell feels he deserves a better contract as a reward for the loyalty he has shown the club. I think we'd all agree that loyalty is a rare thing among 90's footballers, but I can't help thinking losing Bob to the Bosman ruling would be no great disaster (especially after his poor performance against Sunderland). In fact, would any other club want any of the above players? Uwe may get a call from some 2nd division German side but what about the others? These guys want to take a look at what Andy Dibble is doing now (or not doing, as the case may be). We could have 5 little Moonchesters swanning round the pitch this time next season.

NEWS - CONTRACT WRANGLES

By Paul Walker, PA Sport

Troubled Manchester City are locked in contract wrangles with five senior stars, including their longest serving player Ian Brightwell and club captain Kit Symons. Brightwell, Symons, Martyn Margetson, Richard Edghill and Uwe Rösler are all out of contract in the summer and will be able to leave for nothing on free transfers. All have rejected the club's initial approaches after discussions with boss Frank Clark and are now awaiting a response from the board.

Brightwell officially launches his testimonial year on Tuesday, but he is not sure of his future with the club he joined as a 12 year-old, and during which time he has served under an amazing 19 managers. Brightwell's testimonial year should have been 12 months ago, but he stepped aside to allow his friend and former team-mate Paul Lake - whose career was cruelly ended by injury - to have his own testimonial year instead, before embarking on a new career as a physiotherapist. A professional at City for 12 years, Brightwell has played in almost 400 games and finally captained the team for the first time in recent weeks. Brightwell was reluctant to discuss the situation, other than to say: "I am involved in talks about a new contract." But it is understood that he feels hurt, and believes that his loyalty to the club should be rewarded.

Symons' position in the side is clearly threatened by the arrival recently of two new Georgian defenders Murtaz Shelia and Kakhaber Tskhadadze. Symons was relieved of the team captaincy a month ago after abuse from fans and shaky form, but has battled back with some solid displays. His agent Philip Morrison said: "As of January 1, Kit was able to talk to foreign clubs. We have had no meaningful discussions about a new contract." Defender Edghill and Welsh goalkeeper Margetson are in the same boat, now waiting for the club's response. Rösler's contract problems have been well-documented, and he has been the subject of plenty of transfer speculation involving Everton, Sheffield Wednesday and Sunderland. But with the transfer deadline now only two months away, the chances of City getting a fee for the German who can quit in the summer, is now very unlikely.

NEWS ROUND-UP

Today's big story is that a significant number of the club's senior professionals look set to let their contracts run out at the end of the season and move on cheaply (or even on free transfers). The players involved include Ian Brightwell, Kit Symons, Martyn Margetson and Richard Edghill, as well as strikers Uwe Rösler and Gerry Creaney. None of the players are happy with what has been offered to them by the club following discussions with Frank Clark, and are now awaiting the board's response.

Brightwell has been with City since he was 12 and has played almost 400 games for the Blues, and this is his testimonial year. He is rumoured to feel hurt that his loyalty to the club isn't being rewarded better, but was only prepared to say: "I am involved in talks about a new contract." Symons has recently been relieved of the team captaincy and although his form has since improved, he was still the target of abuse from fans on Saturday. With the arrival of Murtaz Shelia, probably soon to be joined by his compatriot Kakhaber Tskhadadze (contrary to reports last week, this deal has not yet been finalised), Symons may feel that his place in the first team is seriously threatened and his agent Philip Morrison said: "As of January 1, Kit was able to talk to foreign clubs. We have had no meaningful discussions about a new contract." Margetson has been unable to keep his place in the team despite performing consistently, and Edghill is also unsatisfied with what has been offered to him so far.

Rösler's contract problems have been well-documented and with the transfer deadline now only two months away, the transfer fee City can expect to receive looks to be slipping on a daily basis. City have not even had contract talks with Creaney, who slammed the way he has been treated by the club in the press this weekend: "City sent me to Burnley to go under but I embarrassed them and that's why they called me back. I was told by Frank Clark it was because he wanted me in his team but his promises were broken after just 45 minutes when he subbed me and never used me again. But that has been the way at City. It's been a complete nightmare, signing for them was my biggest mistake. I'm available on a free transfer and I will go anywhere to get a regular game. I'm even prepared to take a drop in wages." This last statement seems to be in contradiction with the facts though, as Burnley (where he was very popular, scoring 8 goals in 9 games whilst on loan) were very keen to sign him, albeit with a big drop in wages.

City's possible move to the Millennium Stadium was discussed at the board meeting last Thursday, at which the City Council made a presentation to the City directors. The talks were said to be "positive", and Chief Executive Mike Turner added: "We have not committed ourselves yet but we have moved closer to a positive decision after the Council gave a very exciting presentation to our board meeting this week. We don't have to make a final decision yet but what we saw this week was very exciting. The discussions were very positive." City will have to contribute an estimated £2 million to make the new ground a viable proposition commercially (installation of executive boxes, catering facilities etc.), and Turner commented: "We accept that we would have to spend money to install what we would need at the stadium. We have given the Council a shopping list of what we feel we would need and they have come back to us in a very positive way." The current estimate for the new ground's capacity is 55,000; developing Maine Road to anywhere near that capacity would be extremely difficult due to the close proximity of the surrounding houses.

Here are various post-match comments following Saturday's Maine Road defeat at the hands of Sunderland:

Frank Clark: "The best team won. I was very disappointed with our performance coming after two wins on the trot. We are having trouble this season winning two, let alone three on the bounce. Kinkladze said he felt ill at half-time, that was disappointing. We could have had a couple in the first half, but frankly that would have flattered us. We were well below our capabilities, the display was just not good enough. If we had played well and lost, you hold your hands up. But we didn't and the display wasn't good enough. The injuries didn't help but we can't use that as an excuse for the defeat. We didn't show any drive and invention. After two wins, losing again just summed up the story of our season." On his decision to leave out Jim Whitley: "It was a tough decision to make but I get paid to make those decisions. We thought that against a midfield of the experience of Lee Clark and Alex Rae we needed to bring Gerard Wiekens into the side to give us more composure. When you've got three substitutes you've got to try to cover all eventualities injury wise. Ged [Brannan] can obviously play right across the back three and in a number of positions and it won't do Jim any harm."

Peter Reid: "Our 'keeper kept us in the game [referring to Lionel Perez's tremendous save from Uwe Rösler in the 27th minute]. [Kevin] Phillips just loves scoring, he misses chances but it doesn't bother him a bit. He'd missed a couple before he got that goal, but he just kept on going, he's that confident. It's great for us because that spirit means we keep our run going. Maine Road is a difficult place to go to and get a result, you know they will put you under pressure at some time during the game and I felt we handled that well. Our defence stood up to the pressure, I was pleased with the effort and the way we kept trying to pass the ball. We just about deserved the points. As far as going back to City where I was manager, the points are more important than any personal feelings of mine. In fact, as far as I'm concerned it's just three points, it means no more to me than that. They will get it right here. City made us dig in and, fortunately, we managed to."

Niall Quinn: "I can only judge by the way clubs have played against us and City gave us more problems than most. They did not let us have many chances when normally we have been getting half-a-dozen in a game. The way City played against us, there are no fears. That is the first time this season we have played with our backs to the wall. Browny came into his own when Gio could not come back. We were glad to hear the final whistle."

Craig Russell: "The players do not talk about relegation. Maybe that is just an issue for the fans."

Kevin Phillips: "City made it tough for us, particularly with all the old connections."

Nicky Summerbee: "It was nice to come back but I was a bit surprised at the reception I got."

Injury news: Lee Bradbury will play in a behind-closed-doors friendly against Oldham this week in a bid to regain his match fitness in time for Sunday's game against West Ham. Gerard Wiekens (ankle) and Murtaz Shelia (knee ligaments) are both doubtful for the Cup tie, though Gio Kinkladze should be OK after a course of antibiotics to try to clear up his tooth abscess problem which kept him out of the second half on Saturday. Kevin Horlock has still not resumed training following his knee injury sustained six weeks ago.

City's Youth Team face Crewe at Gresty Road tonight in the F.A. Youth Cup 3rd Round. Striker Gary Mason and defender Nicky Fenton have both been passed fit to play after injury. Should this need a replay, it will be held at Altrincham (pitch permitting) on Thursday 22nd January, kick-off 6.45pm. City's reserve team game against Oldham, which was due to be played at Altrincham tomorrow night, has now been postponed until Tuesday 3rd February (6:45pm) as the Moss Lane pitch is in a bad way after heavy rain and is also being used tonight for an F.A. Trophy game.

NIBBLES!

Manchester City, club in crisis, have been shocked by charges of competence. The allegations, made in consecutive editions of disreputable Sunday newspaper, The Observer, accuse City of actually getting it right in two key areas. The appointment by embattled manager Frank Clark of Pete Edwards as fitness trainer drew this stinging rebuke from the paper: "(Edwards is) regarded as the most eminent Englishman working on the physical education of players. Indeed, Edwards is waiting to find out if he's become one of the very few foreigners who have passed Italy's demanding exams to become a football fitness instructor." As if this were not enough, the club's stewards have received outright congratulation for their work. The paper quoted Peter Normington of Libero!, an organisation that protects the freedoms of fans, as saying: "(Crowd control) is an art form which some stewards have mastered better than others. Manchester City's stewards seem to have the best grasp and understanding of what passion is about, while Manchester United's Special Projects Security are led by Ned Kelly, who sometimes thinks he's back in 1st Parachute Regiment conducting a military campaign."

On top of this, it was announced this week that Georgian international defender, Kachaber Tskhadadze, has spurned the advances of crack Premier League outfit, Liverpool, and chosen instead to join bottom-of-Nationwide Division 1 City. The club and its supporters are said to be dumbfounded. For once, good on you City. We love you really. Pete Edwards' book, Football Fitness and Skills, was published in hardback by Hamlyn last year at £14.99, ISBN 0600591328.

On the subject of City players in the World Cup finals, Sammy McIlroy played all 3 games for Northern Ireland in Mexico '86, and Alan Kernaghan was in the Irish squad for USA '94 but did not feature in any of the matches.

REVIEW - CITY MAGAZINE

January 1998: Volume 3, Issue 5

Five leggy blondes on this month's cover. Unfortunately they're all of new Dutch Cap'n, Gerard Wiekens, who tells us that he left Veendam in Holland to play to a higher standard of football. Watching Veendam must be pretty grim then. No less than eight match reviews, including three, yes three, victories. Steady on now lads. We have Away Day Blues at Crewe from a female perspective this time, although it still involves significant quantities of alcohol. And Gresty Road has toilet roll in the Ladies'. There's a small picture of Scott Hiley (remember), a review of a win over West Brom in the F.A. Youth Cup, and our old friend - the Borussia Mönchengladbach representative in the Kaziu Deyna non-lookalike competition - makes another appearance amongst the questions from the City Magazine Grand Quiz Final.

There's a piece on the reunion of Gerry Gow, Tommy Hutchison and Bobby McDonald at the Prestwich Branch, a meeting which seems already to have assumed status as a classic of its kind (and apparently the three gentlemen in question are also not allergic to alcohol). The King of All Geordies, Dennis Tueart, has taken his place in the Court of Pope Pious and is interviewed, without actually giving us any idea of his remit on the Board. "I've got an honest open brief and I'm going there, with sincerity, to do what I can."

Frank Clark offers some avuncular common sense on the potential major changes to the structure of the Football League: "This is football we're selling, not a bag of potatoes." These are the proposals eccentrically named after planets (see MCIVTA 355). Surprisingly, Uranus was not chosen as an option.

This month's centrefold is gorgeous, pouting Murtaz Shelia, looking uncharacteristically limp-wristed (but check out those thighs, girls). And finally, in an exclusive, Richard Edghill reveals that his favourite fizzy drink is Pepsi Max and that he thinks Coronation Street is s**t. So now you know.

THE NETWORK OF BLUES WORKED!

Thanks to some McVittee'ite (or whoever) we have the City vs. West Ham game on Sunday in Grand Cayman courtesy of ITV, Setanta Satellite Sports and our very own West Bay Polo Club Sports Bar & Grill.

Also, a fellow Blue and long time friend of yesteryear now exiled in DC has twisted the arm of his local publican and will also be seeing the game.

So a message to all exiled Blues in the Western hemisphere, check the Setanta home page (http://www.setanta.com/ funnily enough) for a list of all games and bars in your area that are taking the games.

PSYCHOLOGY OF A CITY FAN?

NB: This is not intended to offend readers, purely offer an alternative view of someone who lives with a house of City fans. I apologise in advance for any offence taken.

Psychology is the study of mind and behaviour and you may well ask is this an appropriate study for those who watch City? Minds? Out of their minds yes!

When returning from home after work on a Saturday I do so in anticipation, looking around me for clues of who has won the game my whole family have gone to watch. I look out for lads in City shirts on the edge of tall buildings, listen out for the dulcet tones of a radio commentator, try to sense the despair or delight from Maine Road. Am I a City fan you may ask? Well no actually, but my whole family are. City scarves, City nights out, City talk at the dinner table, City every Saturday, City constantly! If City have won (and let's face it, sometimes happens but not regularly) then life is happy and joyous. If not I bury my head low and wait for the storm to blow over.

As a psychology second year student I have studied many psychology textbooks searching for the chapter on City fans. To my despair there is no psychological explanation of this strange behaviour. No reasons for the continued enthusiasm, no Freudian theory for the mass of fans that rush to buy tickets each week, no treatment to cure these fans!?

I am not mocking City fans although it may seem so. It is just, having lived with them for 18 years now I am beginning to ask myself these questions. No one has investigated the mind of a City fan. Isn't it about time that someone did? An amazing university dissertation I think! If there are any other non City sufferers you are not alone!

GOVERNMENT TASK FORCE REGIONAL MEETINGS

Please take note of the following information - it's vital that as many fans as possible take part in this process and make the points about ticket prices, grounds, stewarding, commercialisation etc. that concern all of us that care about football. Doubt if anything much will come of it but you don't know unless you try...

Manchester Regional Visit of the Government Football Task Force
Manchester Town Hall Thursday 5 February:
Open Fans' Forum from 7pm (doors 6.30pm)

The Government's Football Task Force, headed by David Mellor, is undertaking a tour of the country to gather the opinions of football supporters on issues related to the Task Force remit. Central to this is the whole position of fans in the game: from ticket policies and prices, and the commercial activities of clubs to the representation of supporters and issues of racism in the game, this is the chance for all football fans to have their say to government about what should be done in football.

The FTF visits Manchester on Thursday February 5th and the visit will be split into two parts: during the day the FTF will be collecting evidence by appointment from organisations, clubs (including MCFC) and individuals involved in football; during the evening (doors from 6.30pm) there will be an open, public forum in the Great Hall of Manchester Town Hall where supporters can freely air their views to a panel from the Task Force, to be chaired by David Mellor.

All fans are strongly encouraged to attend this meeting - this is your chance to have your say to the first ever government body to look in detail at what can be done for fans in football. Everyone is welcome, the meeting is totally free - come along!

For those in other parts of the country, the other dates are:

Cheers for your time - hope plenty of City fans can get along to make the case of those fans outside the Premiership.

TOKYO BLUES TRIBELET GATHERING!

1997 witnessed the phenomenal success of last year's inaugural City Tokyo Tribal Gathering. This heady night involved Paul Burns and Colin McKarell staggering across Tokyo taking in such sights as Shinjuku, a football boozer, and Roppongi. Much nonsense was talked about City, the North and life in Japan. Keen to repeat the success of this we are planning another event.

Are there any Blues based in Japan or visiting Japan in February for work or play? If you want to catch up for a few beers, email either Colin.Mckarell@rocketmail.com or PaulBB@classic.msn.com for more. According to MCIVTA data there are at least 3 other Japan subscribers. Paul is based in Hamamatsu, and I am in Tokyo until the beginning of March. Venue at this stage is likely to be either Tokyo or Hamamatsu, although anywhere in Japan would be considered.

Thanks. Keep up the excellent work on MCIVTA, it's a great read.

NEW BARROW AFC FUNDRAISING QUIZ

Like many clubs, Barrow AFC are experiencing some financial problems at the moment, and rather that just ask for money, we thought we'd give everyone the opportunity to help, and have a chance of winning something back, so after the success of the Barrow AFC Christmas Quiz, John Mackay has organised another one. For this one you have to guess the football team (both League and non-League) from cryptic clues, for example, Thick Paper Maybe would be Cardiff. Easy? What about Prevent an Argument? Endearing Heavyweight? John's address is 7 Calder View, Beckermet, Cumbria, CA21 2XY.

If you want to take part send a cheque (payable to Barrow AFC) for £1.25 (covers return postage) or cash to John, with an s.a.e. and he'll send you one out. The competition closes 6 February 1998, and yes, there is a prize. First prize is a Barrow AFC adult stand season ticket for 1998-99 or £100. There is also a pocket radio up for grabs, winner to be drawn from all the entries received.

If you want to have a go, contact John and tell him you read about the quiz on this list. If you are a member of any other football mailing lists please pass on these details to the list, and encourage as many people as possible to take part.

TORONTO SNIPPETS

Well, Oasis came to Toronto last week! Their perfomance seemed to be just like City; 90 minutes on stage that's all, just do what they had to and leave! At least we showed off the City kit - 2 home and 2 away shirts, you would not belive how many people came to get a better look at the shirts. More City shirts than the Rags for the first time!

4 City shirts (all ours)
1 Rags
1 Newcastle

Anybody else there who may have seen the City shirts?

Live on Setanta, City vs. West Ham, Sunday 25th January

OPINION - FRANK CLARK

Poor old Frank Clark. The television company currently investigating the ghost that's haunting Maine Road need look no further than the present manager who appears in the home team dug-out during the second half. An apparition in a long, dark coat hovering amongst various coaching staff whose number are beginning to make us look like an American Football team.

They could even record for posterity the maudlin tones which emanate from this spook on match days at about 5:00pm. After the 1-0 defeat against Sunderland I distinctly heard a tortured voice explaining, "The better team won today. I felt we were second best for most of the game. The spirit and effort was there but we can play better than that." He continued, referring to his star player who was suffering from a tooth abcess, "Nobody told me there might be a problem. Then Georgi said at half-time that he felt ill and couldn't carry on."

What's haunting me is how could the manager of a professional football team not know exactly the fitness level of each of his players before the match? If Gio Kinkladze was doubtful for the match in the first place (as many Blues before the match were aware of even if Frank wasn't), then the possibility that he wouldn't last should have been considered when drawing up the team sheet. What other options had we available when Gio went off at half-time? Where was Tony Scully who could have least provided some service from a wide position?

Gerard Wiekens, not looking match fit to me, was played in midfield on his return from injury. This is after some good performances at the back as captain. Now Gerard Wiekens is not captain and as far as I'm concerned was played out of position.

Is Jim Whitley injured? Has he done a runner? He made a brilliant début, put in a solid performance at Portsmouth and unless someone tells me otherwise has been dropped.

I noticed an animated Peter Reid on the touchline towards the closing stages. Meanwhile, Frank continued to fade in and out of view in the City dugout. This is while we are 1-0 down at home!

I'm sure a lot of Blues, while wanting to give the manager time to get things right, are haunted by the thought that he's just not the right man for the job. Unless Frank starts leading from the front, showing some tactical knowledge and stops sounding so depressed and defeated (what an inspiration he must be in the dressing room), his days at Maine Road will soon be over.

I just hope that next year the ghost of a great football team of the past isn't spotted haunting the famous grounds of the Nationwide Second Division.

OPINION - TIME TO GO FRANK

The Sunday Times match report following the Sunderland match includes an amazing quote from Frank Clark. Referring to Gio's departure at half time because of problems with a tooth abscess our manager said: "No-one told me there might be a problem with him." Gio's toothache was certainly widely reported in the papers and on the radio, not to mention on TeamTalk.

The team selection was a bit strange following successive victories. Selecting Wiekens in midfield looks like a panic move and four central defenders is not the best balanced team. Wiekens clearly wasn't 100% and his previous form in midfield at the start of the season wasn't too good anyway. Following Clark's praise of Jim Whitley only a few days earlier, neither Jim or Jeff made the subs' bench on Saturday. With Wiekens and Gio both good bets not to last ninety minutes the choice of Barry Conlon and Jason van Blerk as subs was bizarre to say the least.

It seems that "Friday Frank", as the players call him, has completely lost the plot and should be pensioned off at the earliest opportunity. Bring on Joe Royle and Willie Donachie: the sooner the better.

OPINION - HOW DO YOU SPELL 'DIVISION 2'?

Well, I was on-line for 75 minutes here in Tel-Aviv, and have never felt so helpless. I just left Blue View, and told myself that City weren't worth it. It was my fault that City lost. If I'd have stayed on-line for the whole 90 minutes I know City would have gotten that equalizer. So I apologise to you all. I've not read the match reports, although I saw us hit the bar on Sky News. I prayed, I promised to behave myself forever if City would get an equalizer, but it appears as if the man upstairs was still a bit angry about us letting PR go. Anyway, at least we're not bottom... yet.

The Holy City

Thousands of miles away, I still love City.
Loss after loss... does God have no pity?
Two wins in a row, I felt the commotion,
I saw the Messiah, I saw our promotion.

Two of my heroes, Reidy and Quinn.
Came back to the Academy and committed their sin.
The Messiah took a coffee-break, he was now gone,
Another year we would spend in Nationwide Division 1.

"Keep the faith" the Messiah said assuredly,
"There are City fans in Heaven: Job, God & me."
"So this is a test?" I asked the chosen one.
"Eh? oh yeah... a test" said the Messiah... and then He was gone.

So guys, I have above proof, that City are going to get back to where they belong! They have free Sky in Heaven and they show all City's games up there. Remember God is testing us. Either that or he's a Rag!

P.S. I've just heard that the West Ham game will be shown live in Israel; anyone who fancies watching it at my house is welcome, just get in touch via email!

OPINION - TIME TO GO FRANK

I'm not going to attempt a match report on the Sunderland game, just to add mine to the many voices calling for Clark's sacking. Now I'm not usually in favour of the old merry-go-round we've got at Maine Road, but comes a time for most managers when they can't take the club any further. Unfortunately it seems that time came last August.

After he came in and turned things around last season, it looked like we had at last got the right man. He came in and got players who'd been doing absolutely bugger all (Rösler, Summerbee) motivated, got players who'd been out of their ideal positions (e.g. McGoldrick, Kinkladze) playing exactly how they should be, and identified weak positions and tried to fill them with good buys like Beesley (ok, so he's not done much this season, but he was just what we needed at the time - an experienced centre back to shore up a very leaky defence), Wright and Horlock. He seemed to know exactly what to do with the players he had and we were only beaten about three times.

Moving on to the summer, a few more players were bought, the ones that stand out being Weikens (definitely a good buy), Vaughan (probably a good buy, he has played fairly well as a centre back, but did pretty badly when played out of position at left back) and Bradbury, who I'll reserve judgement on until he's fit and had a decent run in the team. The pre-season games went well, and we all expected the coming season to go well. Now a lot's been said about how there was a great expectation on the team at the start of the season and how it damaged their confidence. Well my answer to that is that after the way Clark turned things round when he arrived, and after spending as much as he has done, the least we could expect was for the team's performance to improve on last season. OK so we had a bad start, and this was put down to a lack of confidence, Forest got off to a similar start when he got them promoted after all; this excuse is ok if you get going and climb up the table once you've got a decent start. The great wins against Forest and Swindon should have galvanised the team, instead they just flopped again. And so it continued, right up to the present and Saturday's dismal performance.

To me, the Sunderland game was a perfect example of what's gone wrong this season. After our first two back-to-back wins of the season, with the introduction of a good new player in Jim Whitley, it would be reasonable to expect the side to be unchanged. All season we've seen the team and its formation changed from one game to the next for no apparent reason and this game gave us the perfect example. Why was Whitley dropped? The obvious answer is that he was dropped to allow Wiekens back into the team. OK, so Wiekens should retake his place in the team if he's fit. However, his place is at the centre of the defence, not the midfield, and he obviously wasn't fit. Even if you accept that the change was right, why was Brannan and not Whitley on the bench? Brannan's been s**t all season, yet until recently he was an ever present. Surely Frank Clark - that much respected, supposedly intelligent and knowledgeable manager - could see that he's crap? It's just another example of the baffling team selections that we've seen all season. I won't even try to guess what he must have told the team before the match, but they all played far too deep - most of the time there wasn't a single blue shirt in Sunderland's half - and the attacking options were severely limited. But then when the players are so inept that they can't even pass to each other, trying to attack is rather ambitious. Considering that we've supposedly got one of the best young coaches in the country in Richard Money, I'd hate to see the team coached by the worst. What do they do in training? This shower can't pass, can't cross, and they've no idea what to do at a free kick or corner.

I could go on forever, but I'll sum it up like this: Given that we finished last season fairly strongly and a lot of money has been spent, we should be in a far better position than we are now. In fact, given the amount that has been spent, we should be pushing for automatic promotion. Frank Clark's job is to buy the right players (not entirely unsuccessful here), to pick the right players, and to play them in the right formation. He's not picking the right teams and he's not using the right tactics, which would be OK if he'd just come into the job, but after a year it's fair to say that it's his team now, not a mix of Ball's, Hartford's, Coppell's and Neal's, so he should know what to do with it, and it's painfully obvious that he doesn't. I'd be all for giving him more time if he gave us any reason to believe that things would improve with time but it looks to me like it'll just get worse without drastic action now. Time to go, Frank. Sooner rather than later.

OPINION - DON'T EXPECT TOO MUCH MORE FOR NOW!

I said this time last week Sunderland would win so I make no apologies for claiming I told you so. But I'm in actually more optimistic mood.

The fact is we have improved in recent weeks. From match reports the back three of Wiekens, Shelia and Symons seems to be getting more solid, especially with Brown now back in the "hole" where he belongs. Although we lost and we need to win these games if we want to get out of the Division, the defensive signs are slightly better. Especially if the latest Georgian "Mr Scrabble" proves to be as good as Franny says he is. However, I wouldn't be entirely happy right now - after all, we still lost.

You also have to make allowances for the fact that we are missing our two crucial front players, apart from Kinkladze - Horlock and Bradbury. With Horlock on the left, Brown in the middle and Edghill on the right and Whitley(s) providing defensive cover, midfield is starting to take shape.

But the only way we are going to get out of this division is to start producing some flair up front apart from Kinkladze. Brown will help out but he's no Gascoigne and Horlock does provide options out wide (when will he be back?). More urgent though is the need for someone in the middle where Dickov is currently playing - an out and out creative midfielder to complement Kinkladze. We may have to wait until the summer though before we get that player.

So, in the spirit of last week's post, I say again - leave Clark alone. One or two naff buys here and there, but progress is being made.

The acid test is to come though. Look at the fixtures after the Cup game over the next month or so:

  Jan 	28 	Charlton        		H
    	31 	Tranmere            		A
  Feb  	 7 	Norwich         	     	A
        14 	Bury                		H

We'll struggle against Charlton, but who knows if we do the unexpected against West Ham? The next three games after that are the crucial ones though - 5-7 points might be important but won't decide anything finally - only four to five wins on the trot could do that. Important Question: Dosla suggested before Christmas we might just go down. Has anything changed and how many points are we looking at to survive?

OPINION - INGEBRIGTSEN

Kåre Ingebritsen was not in the national team in the '94 World Cup. He went to Manchester City, and they ruined his career. He was one of the best players in the 1-1 match at wembley. At that time, every club wanted to have a Norwegian player. The smart managers bought players like Henning Berg and Stig Bjørnebye. Well, Manchester City had Oyvind Leonardsen on trial, but as you all know... he is crap. Anyway, the Norwegian coach went to the Theatre of Commedy a while before the '94 World Cup to see Ingebrigtsen, but all he saw was an old man called Peter Reid who had taken his place. I remember Ingebrigtsen as a fairly good player, if not he had been so stupid to go to Maine Road, he would have been a '94 World Cup player.

DÉJÀ VU? - WHY BLUE?

Imagine that it is circa 2020, this could be my son's Why Blue contribution to MCIVTA. City are now playing in the East Lancs Superleague along with footballing giants such as Skelmersdale, Ellesmere Port, Northwich Victoria, Tottenham Hotspur (who were bought out by Kelloggs following a dispute with Alan Sugar over the use of a Cock logo on the front of Cornflake packages; bought Old Trafford for £250,000,000 after the Rags moved to the Busby stadium {based on the Gates space station for easy access from visiting aliens for their intergalactic league fixtures}; Spurs achieved East Lancs Superleague status by appointing Horton and Ball as a management duo!) and Brighton (who bought Maine Road for £25,000 when City moved into the new Armageddon Stadium). MCIVTA now goes out to about 2 billion (this followed the purchase of an India superhero - Rajin Bharmi - and a China superhero - Ho Wa Ta Miss - and the edict from world emperor Gates that rice could only be purchased with certified proof of ownership of Microsoft Explorer software).

"I guess that I never had a chance, genetically pre-ordained to support City. My great-grandfather had played in goal for City around the time of the first world war, my grandad supported City and told tales of being among 84,000 crammed into Maine Road for a game against Stoke City, my dad told of being among only 7,000 for a game with Swindon and of going to Wembley to see City win the Cup. Being born in Surrey I nearly escaped and up to the age of 15 supported Arsenal but still when other boys were getting Thomas the Tank Engine stories I was told of the historic exploits of Mercer and Allison, Bell, Lee, Law, Barnes, Paul, Trautmann, Swift, Corrigan, Doherty, Johnston, Grey, Shawcross, Summerbee, Ewing, Leivers, Dyson, Kevan, Marsh, Tueart and so on. Still Arsenal were my team even when I moved to Scotland and turned to Ice Hockey rather than football. But now dad kept telling me snippets from MCIVTA and took me to a friendly with Kilmarnock and I saw all those Kappa shirts; people in Ayr started wearing Kappa; even boys at my school. Dad bought a MCIVTA T-shirt but never got to wear it as I got to it first. The real turning point however came at Christmas '97 when along with NHl 98, Sky Sport subscription and Ice Hockey stuff there was a Kappa away shirt! Now everyone knew I was hooked and the rest is history. City relegated in '98 following the deduction of points over transfer dealings, FHL & FC leaving; some stability in Division 2 under Book & Bell but further relegation when Book retired in 2004. The disintegration of the Football League in 2007 following the formation of the Sky World Series League and regional football from then on. City now attracting crowds of 50,000 despite inconsistent performances plus about 2 billion subscribers to City TV (a great 24h City programme showing all live games plus analysis of City games and characters throughout history - a real cult channel). So here we are hoping to avoid relegation to the Denton league - if we change our manager (Symons) we should be OK - it's always worked in the past!

Philip Lewis"

NEW YORK SUBSCRIBERS

Next month I will be relocating from my currant abode of what is the Jungle of Saigon to New York. In last week's issue of MCIVTA it informed that there was about 8 subscribers in NY. If any of you play in a footy league or know of teams I would be more than grateful to hear from you as I will be desperate for a kick about.

AUSTRALIAN AND NEW ZEALAND SUBSCRIBERS

This goes out to all MCIVTA's out in Australia and New Zealand. I will be in Wellington for the day on Monday 9th March. From then on I will be in Sydney for 10 days from 12th March until 21st March then in Cairns for 3 and Melbourne for 5.

If you would like to meet for a drink then please mail me direct. Perhaps there is something that you might require bringing over from the club shop etc. Obviously there would be a limit on this.

Before anyone has a go about this being in the middle of the football season then I don't care. I need to get away from all this torture for a while and recharge my batteries for the relegation dogfight.

PERTH (OZ) BLUES?

I note from the last MCIVTA that there are four Blues living in Perth, Australia. I would like to get in touch with one or more of them if poss. as I would like some information on Perth City. Any offers?

HELP - DOSLA WEB PAGES?

Can anybody help me set up a DOSLA web site? I have tried using AOL's help screens, but soon lose interest. Can I get an "off-the-shelf" page, and then tailor it? I would like to be able to paste my stats straight onto the pages, without the columns going wrong. Any help would be appreciated.

BLUE HUMOUR

A Royal Navy stoker dies and goes to hell. The Devil comes up to him on his first day and sees him smiling. "What are you smiling about?" asks Lucifer. "I just love it here. It's like a spring day in the boiler room." The Devil angrily walks off, and decides to get him. "I'll turn the heat up all the way. That'll show him."

The next day the Devil checks back with our hero only to find him happy once again. "What now?" says the evil one. "This heat is great! Reminds me of a summer's day in the boiler room." The Devil realises that he has been going about it all wrong. "Tomorrow I'm going to make it colder than a Siberian winter."

He returns the next day to find the stoker shivering and blue, but grinning from ear to ear. "What could you possibly have to be happy about?"

"It's pretty obvious, isn't it?" replied the stoker. "Manchester City must have won the Premier League!"

RESULTS

Hopefully in the next issue.

Up to and including Sunday, January 18 1998

                               HOME            AWAY
                        P  W  D  L  F  A   W  D  L  F  A   Pts   GS

  Nottm Forest         27 11  2  1 32 13   5  4  4 13 12    54   45
  Middlesbrough        27  8  3  2 24  9   7  4  3 20 15    52   44
  Charlton             27 10  2  1 29 13   5  3  6 22 22    50   51
  Sunderland           26  7  4  2 23 10   7  3  3 20 14    49   43
  Sheff Utd            27 10  3  0 26 10   3  7  4 17 19    49   43
  Wolverhampton        27  9  4  0 27 11   4  2  8 10 16    45   37
  West Brom            27  8  2  4 14 10   4  4  5 13 15    42   27
  Stockport            27  8  4  1 28 13   4  1  9 17 24    41   45
  Birmingham           27  5  5  3 12  7   5  5  4 20 12    40   32
  Swindon              27  8  3  3 23 14   3  2  8  9 26    38   32
  Bradford             27  6  5  2 14 12   3  5  6 12 16    37   26
  Norwich              27  6  4  4 14 17   4  2  7 13 22    36   27
  QPR                  27  6  6  2 16 11   2  3  8 14 29    33   30
  Reading              27  5  4  5 19 20   3  5  5  8 18    33   27
  Ipswich              26  4  4  4 13 12   3  7  4 17 15    32   30
  Stoke                27  5  3  5 17 22   3  5  6 12 19    32   29
  Crewe                27  4  2  8 15 23   5  2  6 16 17    31   31
  Port Vale            27  5  4  5 16 14   3  1  9 13 24    29   29
  Huddersfield         27  4  3  6 16 17   3  4  7 14 23    28   30
  Oxford Utd           27  5  4  4 17 14   2  2 10 15 28    27   32
  Man City             27  4  3  7 18 15   3  3  7 13 17    27   31
  Tranmere             26  5  4  4 18 14   1  4  8 10 20    26   28
  Bury                 27  3  7  4 12 14   1  6  6 12 21    25   24
  Portsmouth           26  5  2  7 20 25   1  3  8 10 19    23   30

Ashley Birch, mcivta@tollbar.u-net.com