MAN CITY INFO VIA THE ALPS "McVittee!" #253

DATE Monday 9th December 1996

Another win and lady luck appears to be smiling on us after a long absence. There are two match reports and two match views. There's also news from the Platt Lane Correspondent, another good Why Blue and some humour.

MCIVTA 254 will go out Wednesday evening as I'll be away all day Thursday.

This one reaches 1,194.

MATCH REPORT 'LIVE'

MANCHESTER CITY vs. BRADFORD CITY, Saturday 7th December 1996

Att: 25,035
Ref: Trevor Jones
Team: 4,4,2.

                 Margetson
McGoldrick    Brightwell    Symons    Rodger
 Summerbee    Lomas    Kinkladze    Heaney
           Dickov        Rösler

Subs: All used - Jeff Whitley (Heaney), Kavelashvili (Dickov), Crooks (Rösler).

Due to traffic problems (M602 and the Parkway still!), I was running behind time for the game. As I parked up close to Maine Road a squirrel jumped down from a tree to tell me that because I had turned up late for the first time ever(!), City had decided to score 2 goals in the first 10 minutes. I couldn't believe my bad luck. I mentioned my dilemma to the stewards on the way in and they fell about laughing. Humour has returned to Maine Road, and not just at the A.G.M.!

As I took my seat ready for the feast of goals, guess what? Yep, Bradford started to dominate proceedings. The most alarming consequence of this was Margetson's inability to deal with any sort of cross ball. They had a big ox who stood in front of our 'keeper at every set piece, and frankly, looked as if they would score every time the ball was lofted into our area. We needed somebody like Steve Bruce to give this guy a whack. As it was, Margetson started flapping before the crosses had been delivered. One of the softest goals I have seen at Maine Road resulted from a corner when the ball was gently nodded in unchallenged. The woodwork saved us on a couple of occasions after this.

In general we had a 50/50 share of the play without ever looking as if we would add to our lead. I was impressed by the performance of the two full backs McGoldrick and Rodger. On one occasion Gio gave the ball away carelessly while attacking and the resulting break almost brought about a goal. McGoldrick went over to Gio and gave him a real tongue-lashing. Make this guy captain, quick!

Half Time: 2-1.

The second half continued in the same style with Bradford scoring in similar fashion to their first except this time we failed to clear our lines when in no danger, gave the ball away and they scored from another cross ball with Maggy flapping. Waddle and Cowans were getting a lot of the ball in midfield and dictating the play. Although Gio was doing quite well, Lomas was having a shocker. City retook the lead when Gio put Summerbee through on the right wing. His low cross was missed by Dickov and Rösler but Jeff Whitley who had just come on for the ineffective Heaney, slid in at the back post and squeezed it over the line. After this Lomas missed an open goal and we hung on as Waddle tired.

Final score: 3-2.

Apparently, Franny has refused to back Phil Neal with any concrete promises and Colin Todd is being tipped to take over. Phil Neal's interview on GMR was the only sense I have heard coming out of Maine Road this week. He was bemoaning the fact that we were broadcasting the news of a £12 million cash injection and that any player he was trying to sign for £750,000 would now be closer to a £2 million valuation.

A final note: The programme had a report of the fans' committee meeting on 28/11/96 where it was revealed that Cup tickets for season ticket holders could now be purchased by credit card and that next season's season tickets would be available by direct debit. Also, if anyone wants to buy shares in the club they can be obtained from the stockbroker Alan Dewhurst, Tilney and Co. Tel: 0161 832 1300 (fax: 0161 832 3878)

Ratings:
Margetson 5
McGoldrick 8
Brightwell 6
Symons 7
Rodger 7
Lomas 5
Summerbee 7
Kinkladze 8
Heaney 5
Dickov 6
Rösler 5

Subs: Whitley 8, Kavelashvili 8, Crooks 7.

MATCH REPORT 'LIVE'

MANCHESTER CITY vs. BRADFORD CITY, Saturday 7th December 1996

I could flaming well scream at that team!

How much more do we have to put up with? OK so we won but any positive reaction to the result will only mask the fact that the team is absolutely s***e and papering over the increasing cracks! The best team on the day didn't deserve to lose and to be perfectly honest Bradford could have easily stuck at least another four goals past Margetson. Something has got to be done and pretty sharp or else we'll only start to slide down again.

Why is it that Neal who was a member of the all-conquering Liverpool team of the 70/80's and was managed by the likes of Shankley, Paisley and Fagan, can't seem to get the defence sorted out? Also why does he berate players in public, didn't he learn anything when at Liverpool? I can never remember a Liverpool player being openly criticised by their manager.

So onto the game...

City started brightly enough with Gio scoring from the spot after he was felled in the box after only three minutes. Then Dickov made it 2-0 after Rösler's cross had been fluffed by the Bradford defence, which left Dickov to thump the ball into the roof of the net. So 2-0 after approximately 15 minutes. City should have been safe but somehow you knew it wouldn't stay the same, especially after recent games (W.B.A. etc). Why is it that the team look uncomfortable when they should be cruising?

Bradford did come back into the game, firstly hitting the bar and then scoring from an inswinging corner. I honestly thought Waddle had scored direct but it looks like Steiner got the telling touch. I remember the last time Margetson conceded a similar goal against Everton; we ended up getting thrashed 5-2! As soon as that went in I thought we'd get beat. Waddle and Cowans were running the game, Waddle providing excellent passes that City just couldn't cope with. In fact Bradford could well have gone into the break leading but from a couple of goal-mouth scrambles following corners, the two efforts were blazed high and wide. So it was with relief that City went in leading, although I had a sense of impending doom (every the optimist).

No half-time changes and as usual the pitiful team talk as City came out with very little fight and Bradford seemed to take total control of the early stages of the half! Soon the Citys were on level terms, once more from a telling Waddle cross. His pinpoint inswinging cross was met on the 6 yard line by an unmarked Steiner and he eased the equaliser home. While Bradford celebrated, the collective heads of the City team dropped; surely this is where we need a motivator to get the team going again! Usually the captain does it but I'm afraid Symons isn't in that class.

I expected it to be all hands to the pumps and try to weather a Bradford onslaught. Fortunately City managed to sneak another goal and thus give themselves a chance. Gio and Summerbee interchanged passes on the right wing before Gio slipped a ball through for Buzzer to cross. His low cross was missed by everyone except Whitley (who had just come on as a sub), who manged to squeeze the ball home from an acute angle past the despairing dives of the Bradford defence. To put it mildly the lad was slightly pleased! At last someone with pride and feeling for the club (but for how long?). What surprised me though was the fact that someone other than the 'strikers' was in the area. that's been half the problem for the Blues, not enough support in the box!

However the game was still not safe, with Bradford once more having lots of play; indeed they nearly got a deserved equaliser when Steiner headed another Waddle cross onto the crossbar in the last few seconds. The reflief at the whistle was immense and the players came over to applaud the fans. However, as my mate said 'Don't come here, you don't deserve any applause, you were crap' - my sentiments exactly. Nothing seems right with the team. Maybe a few more with Whitley's feelings could take the Blues a long way?

MATCH VIEW I

Things started encouragingly enough with no sign of the names Clough or Wassall on the team sheet, but hang on a minute... Rösler's still there and Whitley and Crooks on the bench! Now I get it, play like a donkey all season and keep your place... have a blinder and make a swift return to the bench! It's beyond me, but hell, who am I to argue with logic like that?

By the way I thought we were coming up to Christmas not Easter 'cos surely Chris Allen's defence of our Nigel (MCIVTA 252), was a wind up?

Anyway, onto the match. Despite seeming to concede the midfield we suddenly found ourselves two goals up. Cue knowing looks all round. There was no pattern or shape. Little movement off the ball but at least a bit of fight and we needed that as it seems with most teams in this division they were big and physical, getting away with what they could, which was plenty. Sure enough they pulled one back, much to the delight of their impressive away following and although we went in at half-time 2-1 up the natives were restless.

Shortly after the restart Bradford were level and if Asprilla's celebrations versus Metz merited a booking then the whole Bradford team should've been sent off as they disappeared into the North Stand to the acclaim of the Tyke travellers.

Thankfully City didn't give up and the introduction of Whitley brought immediate reward as he cooly slotted home from a tight angle after good work from Gio and Summerbee. There was a lot more shape about City as Whitley provided solid support for Lomas in the centre. Heaney had impressed in parts but never got to the by-line to produce crosses. I really can't see him as the answer to our prayers. He looks like another journeyman who'll sit on our books sapping away at our limited resources. What's the point buying him when we've got Phillips, and hopefully Beagrie to return? Surely someone proven like Waddle, who impressed throughout, would be a better investment?

City clung on and looked for the points in an exciting finish which saw Bradford go close on a number of occasions. Kave got an extended run (5 minutes) and looked good. Play this man please. All in all the points were vital and some encouraging signs, but Bradford are below us!

Form guide:
Margetson - none too inspiring.
McGoldrick - talks a lot, captain?
Rodger - solid enough, dangerous going forward and good left foot.
Lomas - led by example, bit rash at times.
Symons - looked better alongside...
Brightwell - impressed.
Summerbee - not as bad as people make out but he needs dropping. Had another go at the fans... apparently.
Heaney - beat his man two or three times, then beat him again and again but no cross!
Dickov - worked hard, shouldn't have been the one to come off.
Rösler - should have been the one replaced.
Kinkladze - quiet by his standards but still instrumental in two of the goals.
Whitley - hard worker, good passing, movement, awareness etc. I guess it's back to the bench for Jeff!
Kave - makes space very well. I think we'd see a more "interested" Gio if his countryman gets an extended run.
Crooks - nice to see a City player with a bit of presence, he must be at least 5 ft 10! Who says size isn't everything? I think it might be in this league.

Finally, with regard to Christine's idea about a Dutch style band. It could be great but would need some organisation. The Sheffield Wednesday/England lot were mightily impressive at Anfield.

MATCH VIEW II

A win but not a performance I would like to see again. First 20 mins or so City were superb. Blatant penalty after a couple of minutes and a well taken, if slightly fortuitous goal on about 12. Schwarzer was looking crap, kicking worse than Dibble's. Then we conceded a s***e soft goal from a corner (Margetson's fault?) and the confidence drained out of players and fans alike. City proceeded to play b*****ks for most of the rest of the game. They never picked up Bradford's overlapping full backs. Second goal was also pants, especially as their sole tactic all afternoon had been to hoof it into the box for their big number 10. Bradford also hit the woodwork at least twice and should have scored at least one more. I haven't got a clue how our third went in but Whitely got it and I think he's ace, so I don't care. Corners are complete s****e. I couldn't bring myself to watch any of Bradford's because they always looked like scoring. A hell of a lot of work needs to be done on defending set pieces.

Players:
Margetson - apart from first goal looked sound. 7
McGoldrick - good to see him trying to stop fans booing Buzzer but otherwise nothing special. 6
Rodger - didn't do much at all, kept drifting inside. 5
Symons - better but lost out on so many aerial challenges. Not an inspiring captain but who else is there? 6
Brightwell - too short to be a centre back but anything's better than Wassall. 6
Lomas - won virtually every ball we won in midfield. 7
Kinkladze - not in it for most of the game. One moment when he beat two men, looked for someone to pass to and everyone was standing behind him going 'wow he's good isn't he' summed up much of City's play. 6
Summerbee - simply can't run fast enough. Looked ok going forwards but never tries the difficult ball. Is it true that he's only in the team because Mike says he must be? A rumour I've heard several times. 6
Heaney - I thought he was crap and lacked pace. Recommended by AB, need we say more? 4
Dickov - tries but he's not the answer as he won't score enough goals. 6
Rösler - also played quite well but didn't have many shots. 6

Subs:
Whitley - played better than Heaney and he's our only player not afraid to shoot from distance. 7
Kav - didn't do much but should be given some starts. 6
Crooks - had no time to do anything.

All in all it's a win and we need those. Can we go two games unbeaten though? I won't be able to see them for a while as I'll be back in the footballing hotbed of Bristol but straight wins would be nice.

NEWS - 'BORO WANT BROWN?

Middlesbrough are believed to have watched Michael Brown for the fourth time since his return from injury this week when he played for the reserves in the victory at Edgeley Park on Wednesday. Brown has scored in the last two reserve games and the rumour is that Middlesbrough are about to make a bid of about £1 million for him. Phil Neal is thought to be interested in one of Boro's fringe players so a swap deal might be in the offing. Could that fringe player possibly be Jan Aage Fjørtoft?

NEWS - YET ANOTHER RESCHEDULING!

City's away game at Oxford United, scheduled for Saturday 1st February, has been selected for live TV coverage by ITV and will now be played on Sunday 2nd February. Let's hope it's as good a game as the last time we played at the Manor Ground and the result's the same!

NEWS - SHARES

Jon Fielding asked about buying shares in MCIVTA 252; as it happens, the following snippet appeared in Saturday's programme:

Shares in the club can still be purchased and these can be obtained from the stockbroker used by the Club - Alan Dewhurst, Tilney and Co. Tel: 0161 832-1300 (fax 0161 832-3878).

NEWS - PICCIES FROM THAT MATCH

In response to Ric Allen's request in MCIVTA 251, we now have some pictures from the memorable occasion of City's last derby victory in the picture archive.

The URL is http://www.uit.no/mancity/pictures/5-1/

NEWS - WHITLEY AND WADDLE

City have rejected an Everton approach for 17-year-old supersub Jeff Whitley. The offer was believed to have been in the region of £1.25 million but City wouldn't even discuss a deal. "The boy is Manchester City through and through and he is staying here. What makes it even more farcical is that the Everton representative said they wanted him for their youth team!" said Francis Lee.

Bradford's first goal on Saturday has now officially been credited to Chris Waddle instead of Rob Steiner. That makes it his second goal direct from a corner for Bradford so far this season.

CITY - THE SOAP?

A friend of mine who now lives in the States, but is as Blue as they come (he's the guy who always wears a City shirt when jogging in his adopted home town of San Francisco) sent me this message the other day, I thought that it should reach a wider audience:

"I have become addicted to this soap opera about this podgy guy, who after becoming rich, returns to a former workplace and buys it. Then all these bad things start happening, but it also turns out that he was not that rich in the first place, and now the business is in really bad shape and getting worse. It is really exciting, it is so well acted it seems real! In the last episode, even the giant business across town, seeing how it's rival was getting all of the attention, decided to summon up bad things onto itself. At last count, the small business had perfected a way to keep all the attention to itself. By constantly changing managers, the podgy owner was never in danger of being upstaged. A new and intriguing plotline involves a former manager who becomes ill, and creates the possibility of foul play (ironically that is the name ot their product). I believe this play is being performed in a town or city near you, it will be hard to miss, even if you want to."

Thanks to Gary Rashman for the storyline.

Perhaps there should be a new section in Mcvitee with regular updates of "City - the soap"?

Did anyone else think that:

1. BBC had a nerve using Wonderwall to promote the Newcastle Metz game.
2. That ITV had a *****ing nerve inviting a certain short ginger-haired squeaky voiced individual to give his "expert" appraisal on the Blues for the Wolves game. It shows how shameless he is, seeing as he, more than anyone else, is responsible for the current sorry state of affairs at the Academy.

Funny business footie, isn't it? Last November the person mentioned above was manager of the month! Laugh? I could have cried (and did).

EX-CITY XI

I was just looking through the Premiership team sheets recently and noticed a lot of people with something in common:

1. Coton (Sunderland)
2. Barrett (Everton)
3. Hinchliffe (Everton)
4. Hendry (Blackburn)
5. Warhurst (Blackburn)
6. Flitcroft (Blackburn)
7. Bishop (West Ham)
8. Lennon (Leicester)
9. Quinn (Sunderland)
10. Ward (Derby)
11. Hughes (West Ham)

SUBS:

1. Beresford (Newcastle)
2. Wilson (Tottenham)
3. Phelan (Chelsea)
4. Stewart (Sunderland)
5. Simpson (Derby)

MANAGER: Peter Reid

OK it's not a world-shattering side but better than one I can think of. And geez if we had Peter Reid in charge instead of the 3 clowns we've had so far this season.

Oops, you mentioned the 'R' word Tim 8-))

MODEL - NOT!

Having just read McVitte, I feel I should warn you before you rush out to your local model shop - the model Richard mentions is actually another famous cup winning side, namely Burnley!

BEST ARTICLE EVER?

I don't contribute to MCIVTA very often (well, hardly ever), but find it an indispensable source of real info about what's happening with the Blues... Thanks.

However - can I say, I think Jon Parker's "Why Blue?" was the most brilliant piece you have ever carried. Does anyone else agree? Brought a tear to my eye, it did!

One specfic thing about Jon's note though, that really made me think. How many years did Swift and Trautmann keep us up and make us great? From 'my era', I would also throw in the ManMountain himself, Joe Corrigan. But the point is this: we have a tradition of Great Goalkeepers being the foundation of either a successful, or at least respectably surviving, team.

Now: would anybody disagree with me that the current holders of the proudest goalkeeping jersey in the land are the worst we have ever had? I mean, ever. Bar none. No wonder we're going down.

FROM YOUR PLATT LANE CORRESPONDENT

Answers to questions:

A contributor to a recent issue wondered how long Finglands had been providing coaches for City. Having lived in the Rusholme area I can remember standing at the corner of Kippax St. and watching City bring the Cup home in 1934. The name Finglands was written plainly on the side of the coach. I can only assume, therefore, that they have provided coaches for City since we moved to Maine Road from Hyde Road in 1923. Finglands are still situated in their original garage at the end of Platt Lane, on Wilmslow road.

Another contributor asked about how to buy shares in City. City's brokers are Tilney and Co. in Manchester and their 'phone number is (0161) 832 1300. Shares can be bought by 'phone, with a handling charge of £30.00 for a small transaction. The price, as quoted by the MEN at the moment is 115 pence per 10 pence share. That is probably the "middle" price, add 10 pence to buy and take 10 pence off to sell.

Annual General Meeting 5th December:

I bought a few shares recently to enable me to attend this year's AGM and was glad I did so. We were told at the AGM the package of measures that were to improve our financial position and make money available for transfers. Firstly £5 million of outstanding loans are to be converted to shares. This will immediately improve the debt position and will also reduce the interest payments that we have to make. It will also have the effect of diluting the current shareholders' stake. Secondly a rights issue is to be made to the value of £10.8 million. The rights issue is offered to all existing shareholders at a rate of three new shares for every four shares that they already hold. If you hold four hundred shares you would be able to buy three hundred new shares at the offer price of 80 pence. After existing shareholders have taken up those that they wish any remaining shares will be purchased by John Wardle and Associates and Stephen Boler, these are the two gentlemen that have been quoted in the press as putting £5 million each into City.

We were told at the AGM that all the existing major shareholders would not be exercising their options in the rights issue, thus allowing Wardle and Boler to buy the quantities of shares announced. The minority shareholders probably amount to no more than 5% of the shares allocated. Incidently this deal will make Boler the biggest single shareholder in the club, though he has publicly expressed his support for Lee to remain as Chairman.

Are the shares worth the money? I'm no financial wizard or anything but I would have thought they would be a good buy. Chairman Lee told us that when City get promotion back to the Premiership (yes he did say when and not if :-)) City would be looking to a stock market flotation to raise the funds necessary to be a "top six" team. I'm quite sure that Wardle and Boler are not putting money into City because they love the club. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that they are Blues but they are also astute businessmen who can see a good investment opportunity. They are obviously taking a risk as the shares could go down in value but they are buying into an ailing company with great potential.

Chairman Lee pointed out that the income from gate money last year was £5.5 million and that even if we had a full house it would only increase to £5.8 million. This hardly covers the wage bill :-((. While I'm convinced that they have made mistakes I think that the board is on the right lines to develop the commercial side, and it is only through the sale of goods, restaurants etc. that we will become commercially viable and thus able to survive without the periodic necessity for a rich benefactor.

What about the playing side? Enough has already been said really, the results speak for themselves. Most people only read of the first team, fortunately I watch the rest of the scene and I am slightly encouraged by it. Firstly I think that Neil McNab is doing a fine job with the youth and A teams. The results prove it, and we have a number of excellent prospects. Initially I was sceptical of the appointment of Bond as reserve team coach but the more I see him at work on the training ground the more I admire him. Like the youth team the reserve team results have been improving recently. I think the jury is still out on Neal. A manager can only succeed if he has enough money to spend based on the calibre of the squad that he inherits. From comments made by Stephen Boler's representative and Chairman Lee at the AGM all present were under the impression that "the management team was shortly to be strengthened." I would personally keep Neal on as number 2, so the real question mark must be over Asa Hartford (assistant manager under ball) and Tony Book (first team coach).

A note of sympathy (a small one though):

To end on a personal note, for over 30 years I taught at a large comprehensive school in Wythenshawe, the huge council estate five miles south of the city. For a number of years I ran the soccer teams and during the 1960's I had three very good players in my team, who I thought would have good careers with top clubs. My goalkeeper played for Manchester Boys and Lancashire Boys, signed for Bolton but then never made the grade. My centre forward played for Manchester Boys, Lancashire Boys and even for England, scoring two goals at Wembley against West Germany. He was signed by the Rags but, again, never made the grade. My utility player only played on the odd occasion for Manchester Boys but he signed for City and had a good career in the old First Division - his name was David Connor. What does all this prove? It is very difficult to spot who is and who isn't a winning player, be you chairman or manager of a top club or just a supporter. Lee, Neal and all the rest are, perhaps, just as human and fallible as the rest of us.

Let us hope that the £10.8 million soon to be made available will be spent wisely and not frittered away.

BLUE MOON OVER CAYMAN

"We only sing when we're losing"

Well we are just wondering how many more bombshells are on the way for us Blues this season. Nothing surprises us anymore. It's one thing to get over the embarrassing defeats each week at the likes of Swindon, Lincoln, Barnsley etc. but to lose managers inbetween, makes for a pretty tough existence. The unsavoury rumours regarding some of the reasons contributing to Steve Coppell's departure have now reached the USA and the Caribbean. They are just too libellous to print, I hope they are not true but in all likelihood they will probably surface in the gutter press.

What next, Kinky a cross dresser perhaps? FHL to buy a circus elephant to act as player coach? Maine Road sinks in to the quicksand, City to ground share with Bury?

Remember those awful MEN headlines; City sign Stockport Ace for £220K! Beyond the cringe or what?

We can't even hold our own with a p*** taking session with the Rags anymore. I heard a Liverpool fan telling a Rag joke to a United fan just after their recent dismal performances at the Dell, Europe etc. in the pub the other night...

What's the difference between Schmeichel and a taxi?
Taxi drivers only let four in.

Ho Ho! I could not even raise a smirk and really had no right to as their lean spell pails into insignificance compared to our sorry state of affairs where we cannot even decide what is worse, the win and loss balance in the league table or the profit and loss balance in the bank.

Terrible situation to be in the red and in the s**t.

My brother remarked upon a sports TV program where the pundits were discussing the poor performance of the Welsh national side. A paraphrased sequence from the show went;

"I personally do not believe that Ryan Giggs was unavailable through injury and was more likely to be resting up for his club commitments or simply politely declining to play in case he gets injured. After all Giggsy has more pride for playing for Utd than he does for Wales."

"Then of course, Wales will have to draw their squad from the likes of Tranmere, Manchester City and Port Vale."

"Yes I see your point Brian, and with teams like Tranmere, Man City and Port Vale you're just not going to get the quality players to cope with World Cup opposition."

The sad thing is that he wasn't even taking the p*** out of us, it's just that the names of the teams he mentioned just rolled off the tongue with such consumate ease and fitted together nicely into his rhetoric. Which in a sense a much worser a p*** take.

Staying with Utd for a moment, let's face it what they do these days is totally irrelevant to us. What Oldham, Bolton and Wolves do are of far more consequence. I'm not against local rivalries, they can be healthy and amusing but we don't have a leg to stand on at the moment.

I don't even think we should berate Trevor (I've got two O'Levels actually) Brooking for referring to Utd as the 'Manchester' in his match commentating; we can all feel a little hurt I agree but we are in no position to draw attention to ourselves at the moment. If he was challenged about his references by a 'Bitter Blue', he'd probably say;

"Oh yeah like you deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as Utd at the moment, in fact you're a disgrace to the fine Northern city, and at least one team in Manchester is flying the football flag, so be grateful to them."

I would not test him with criticism at the moment, it would be a different story if we were a point behind them in the league, a place in Europe and a souvenir shop that grosses £1.5 million pounds a year. As ruthless as their attitude is to kit changes and hence merchandising it pays the wages of some of their players.

[£1.5 million is a conservative estimate]

We are not even in the ball park at the moment so let's just get our heads together and graft our way back to at least a promotion place before we start making noises about equal footing with Utd.

Denis Law's back heel into the net with his back to Stretford End that saw them relgated was a long time ago. In fact it was pre-Thatcher. And it will be a long time in to the future before we can be contemplating about gloating with similar rival pride.

Talking of rivalries, the memory goes back to one particularly drunken Spanish holiday evening on the Costa del Crappo right in the middle of Glasgow fortnight, we had the ignominious pleasure of being seated in the bar where four tattooed disfunctional psychos from the rough end of the Gorbals Estate were eloquently discussing the delicate intricasies of sectarian football rivalry on the river Clyde.

If Hell had bouncers these guys would be prime contenders. These guys made the Elland Road Nazis of the early 80's look like a girl guides' picnic. These guys could cause bowel movements at 30 paces to even the bravest SAS paratroopers. Stop me if I sub-reference one more time.

Celtic Fan: "So what was your favourite year as a Rangers fan?"
Rangers Fan: "1975"
Celtic Fan: "Why 1975 you won f*** all that year?"
Rangers Fan: "Ah but two popes died and Danny McGrain broke his leg"

N.B. Not too sure about the year so no flame mails please for those saddos with year books about the 'Tics'.

Oh how we laughed so as not to invoke their wrath and have our throats cut with their San Miguel beer bottles.

What chants can we make to our erstwhile Rag counterparts when we eventually do get promoted and maybe perchance have at least one more derby game this millenium?

"We've seen more grounds than you"

They can strip us of our pride, dignity, heritage, trophies, ground, best players, managers and extended overdraft but they will never dampen our humour.

Remember going to The Hawthorns when the Bananas were the craze and one idiot produced a paddling pool, and for the whole of the first half we sang about the paddling pool. The Brom fans asked; "You what, you what, you what you f*****g what?" "We've got a paddling pool you've not" was the laconic and ever so adult retort from the City fans.

Remember going to Molineux back in the early 80's and we went 4-0 down in the first half [surprise sur - ******g - prise]. Glad to see we've improved on that score line since this visit. Well done lads, I'm sure the Wolves fans were absolutly gutted to see a much improved City side that manged to concede one less goal and spread over two halves. Anyway we started singing "We want five, we want five" I think it took a whole 5 minutes before the Wolves fans could stop laughing. Then in the second half (funny how I don't remember much of the match) we sang "John Bond, John Bond give us a wave, John Bond give us a wave." He thought about it, sold us a dummy and then waved limply. There must have been 3,000 City fans who with one single psychic thought then leaped forward seven feet or more in unison with two fingers rampant (finger nails outwards) in the shape of the 22nd letter of the alphabet and in a chorus-like harmony screamed at the top of our lungs something to do with sex and travel.

We're not sure where these ramblings are taking us. I guess it's just part of being a Blue. Let's look on the bright side, we are still in the FA Cup, the grass always looks nice and well kept at Maine Road and if we do get relegated then we will have the best ground in the second division.

JUST HOW MUCH WAS PROMISED?

Has anyone got any - genuine - quotes from Franny, before Swales left, about how much money he had to put into the club? His detractors claim that Franny promised millions but I seem to remember he always said that he was no Jack Walker.

DIBBLE'S COURT APPEARANCE?

Does anyone know the outcome of Dibble's court appearance? And does anyone know how serious Margetson's injury was at Wolves? I may have missed the answers to these questions somewhere, but if someone could let me know, I would appreciate it.

Roll on a win of some description!

CITY CITY TOP OF THE LEAGUE, CITY TOP OF THE LEAGUE

It's not a wind up it's true! I've just found out how this can be achieved with very little difficulty. When you receive MCIVTA and look at the league table simply put your cursor over the 'down arrow' and press it for a few seconds. Hey presto, City are top of the league even though we've lost loads of games, brilliant! Alright, it means that there are only about three other teams in the division but it's a start.

OPINION - WAGE POLICY

So City apparently have around £10 million to spend on players thanks to Stephen Boler and friends. The fact still remains that Lee is not willing to pay the going rate for decent players (hence the sale of Quinn, Curle, etc...), and so who the hell are we going to buy? A bunch of £200,000 players like Simon Rodger? These kind of players are not going to get us out of the 1st Division! If the likes of Wassall and Rodger are so good, why aren't they in Crystal Palace's and Derby's sides? If Lee doesn't change his wage policy soon, we'll never get back to the Premiership.

OPINION - CLOUGH

I'm sorry but I had to interrupt my reading of MCIVTA 252 to write my own opinion on City's midfield and more specifically Nigel Clough. Our midfield is composed of one brilliant player, one guy who will play his heart out and try his hardest every game and, depending on who else is playing, some youngsters who do their best but are in no way the finished article but look highly promising, or two wasters. I know none of our players make perceptive runs (Gio and Kav when he gets to play excepted) or support the strikers fast or well enough but Clough isn't going to help. He doesn't make enough tackles in the midfield to justify his inclusion if Gio's playing and I know who I'd rather have in the team. Clough's best position may well be 'in the hole' but with Gio that would just leave our midfield hopelessly undermanned and all the other teams in this s**t league (to which we make a valid contribution in this respect) would walk straight through or over. I think Gio should be given a free rôle, one striker up front (surely Kav) and then 4 in midfield - Lomas, Brown, Heaney / Beagrie / Phillips / Whitley. We have to have battlers and certainly against Wolves and in many other games our midfield looks weak as Gio leaves spaces when he moves around to get the ball and no-one covers. Having gone off on a limb I will go back to the other waster - Summerbee. A great crosser of the ball? I've seen about three good crosses in the 6 games I've been to this season. A wing-back? Would be nice but he's such a lazy bastard that he wouldn't get back to do his defensive duties (he doesn't when he plays as an overlapping full back let alone a wing-back).

Having got all that off my chest I would say that when the day comes that we sell Gio, and however much he likes the club I'm sure it will happen, then we should try Clough 'in the hole' and if he still plays s***e then dump him. I also agree that having fans run on to the pitch and tell players they're crap - even when it's true - can't be good for confidence and much as I feel like doing it sometimes I wouldn't, like I don't boo the names when they're announced (even if inside I'm crying). Let's hope for a run of 10 or at least more than one unbeaten games, the band's a top idea and we're going to beat Bradford tomorrow (I hope, I pray, I plead).

OPINION - WELL, 2 ACTUALLY!

Two things:

1. What about offering Peter Beardsley the job of player manager?
2. Are there any other Blues in Cape Town, South Africa? I would love to hear from anybody who fancies a pint and a Blue chinwag.

WHY BLUE

At the moment, I don't know why I still go and support my beloved club but it must be something along the lines of this;

I was born and brought up in Worsley, Greater Manchester and have three brothers. My dad is a U****d fan and my mother, although she tries to show an impartial front has, I have always suspected, had a Blue leaning. I suppose it's my parents 'fault' that I ended up Blue, since they bought two City kits and two Rag kits one Christmas in our formative years and I was one of the lucky(?) ones who got the Sky Blue.

Anyway, through my early years at school I was always proud to wear my scarf and bobble hat and always stuck up for City even though the area was awash with Rags and Bolton fans and all the arguments with my two Rag brothers were about football. My first match was a ninth birthday treat against QPR - I went with my dad and we sat in the North Stand. This was to be my first example of City's erratic nature because I remember it being a dire 0-0 draw. Then, the week after I was sitting by the radio and listening to them win 4-2 and wishing my dad had chosen that match to go to instead of the week before. I remember him saying that he didn't realise they could be at home two weeks running!

The years passed and I have got to admit certain pressures have been exerted on me to change but I managed to overcome them (they insisted I go along to the Swamp with them, but I always thought it was weird with all those different accents). I have always found it a better atmosphere at Maine Road and enjoy the camaraderie of the fans, especially at the away games.

I was, by the time I went to Manchester University in 1985, a Kippax season ticket holder and it was there I began to see the extent of southern Rags. For almost all of them it was their first visit to Manchester. While at Uni, I moved to Levenshulme and at last there were more kindred spirits, although alarmingly there are now quite a few Rags in this area since their recent successes - this in a supposed Blue stronghold.

My job used to take me all over the world and, although I still kept my season ticket in the Kippax, I used to have to miss quite a few games. Why did I keep the ticket - well, I actually did live in hope that someday I may need it to get first option on the semi final/ final tickets. Sad, I know, but true. I hope the boss doesn't get MCIVTA because I will now divulge a dark secret. I was always so anxious to listen to the matches when I was away on business that I always used the hotel phone to listen to the second half the match with a radio at home tuned into GMR or Piccadilly - and you can imagine that from Australia, Japan or the States that was quite steep. Nowadays, I am office based in Altrincham so I am lucky enough(!) to be able to get to all the home games and some away ones.

For the future, I can only hope that we soon get out of the mess we find ourselves currently and start climbing what is, after all, a very poor league. It is getting difficult not to get depressed and keep my head up faced with Rag barrages from inside my own family but I will never change now. Guess what, my two Rag brothers never go to the Swamp now although, of course, they always buy the shirts etc. My brother who got the other blue kit only went to one match but still follows them as an armchair fan from down in Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire - he's the one without the grey hairs.

Best experiences

• listening to the 76 League Cup final on my tranny,
• the 81 Semi final,
• beating the Rags 5-1 (I went with the two Rag brothers and the journey home was extremely sweet),
• the 5-1 promotion game vs. Charlton in 85,
• the 10-1 vs. Huddersfield,
• standing on the Kippax at exactly the same point where Jim Melrose hit the ball and scored that goal vs. Notts County, and the whole ground going quiet before realising it was in.
• seeing the Rags getting some good stuffings recently.

Worst experiences

• the relegations (83 was the worst because that was my first experience of anything so low),
• losing in the '81 Cup final,
• losing to the Rags on a more regular basis recently,
• having to watch them win the double,
• vs. Lincoln this season and, of course,
• last Wednesday (vs. Oxford, I really hope it doesn't go on much longer).

BLUE HUMOUR

Player Purchase:

According to reports circulating around Manchester, a lottery winner and fan of the Blues is prepared to buy us a player. He is also quoted as saying that if he gets three numbers again this Saturday he'll buy us another two!

P.S. Does anyone know what we pay Jimmy Frizzell for?

RED HUMOUR

This has found its way to MCIVTA via the Bolton and Leeds lists. I've definitely seen it before (about two years ago) but most of you probably haven't; it looks suspiciously like the work of Voice of Football to me.

Have you got what it takes to support Leeds, Man City or Man United? Answer these questions to find out.

I support my team because
a) I live nearby
b) I live nearby, but wish I didn't
c) I long for European nights, Wembley finals, lots of media coverage and basically my local team is s***e.

Watching my team
a) Has its ups and downs
b) is nothing but downs
c) is great on my new TV

It's costly supporting my team because
a) we've gone all-seater
b) I keep betting on us at the Ladbrokes' booth
c) Away shirts cost a bloody fortune these days

Since the Taylor Report on Safety at football
a) The atmosphere has diminished
b) We're still playing crap
c) I've fixed a rope ladder to my bedroom window and bought a seatbelt for my armchair

To see some action in Europe next year
a) we need to start scoring some goals
b) I've booked a Club Med holiday to Majorca
c) I'll be subscribing to Sky Sports

Paul Scholes
a) is intensely ugly
b) will enjoy himself against our defence for years to come
c) is on lots of posters on my bedroom wall

The sort of player who I'd like to see playing for us
a) would give 100% every match
b) would never sign in a million years
c) will sign if he's paid enough

Football Violence
a) is on the decline
b) is what I feel like at a quarter to five
c) is throwing your pizza box at the TV set.

Manchester is
a) A stinking slum and thank God I don't live there
b) A stinking slum, but it's home
c) A wonderful, beautiful place that I've never been to

A penalty is usually given
a) for a handball or a foul
b) All too frequently against us
c) When one of our players falls over near the box

Your team narrowly loses the title to your deadliest rivals in a thriving final league game. Do you
a) Say "Never mind, there's always next year"
b) Stone the players coach and cry your eyes out for the next three months
c) Start supporting your deadliest rivals

Your team wins the title. Do you
a) Celebrate for a day or two then look forward
b) Wake up. Of course it was all a dream.
c) Bore the pants off everyone with comparisons of the Brazil team of 1970

When I die
a) my ashes will be scattered over our pitch
b) we still won't have won anything
c) nobody will care

Mainly A's - You support Leeds
Mainly B's - You support Man City
Mainly C's - We don't want to know!

RESULTS

Full-time score for Sunday, December 8 1996

WEST BROMWICH ALBION    2-2    BOLTON WANDERERS

Full-time scores for Saturday, December 7 1996

BARNSLEY                3-0    SOUTHEND UNITED
BIRMINGHAM CITY         0-0    GRIMSBY TOWN
CHARLTON ATHLETIC       2-0    SWINDON TOWN
CRYSTAL PALACE          2-2    OXFORD UNITED
HUDDERSFIELD TOWN       2-0    NORWICH CITY
IPSWICH TOWN            0-0    WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS
MANCHESTER CITY         3-2    BRADFORD CITY
OLDHAM ATHLETIC         0-2    QUEENS PARK RANGERS
READING                 0-1    PORT VALE
SHEFFIELD UNITED        1-0    PORTSMOUTH
STOKE CITY              2-0    TRANMERE ROVERS

Up to and including Sunday, December 8 1996

Team                  Played   Won  Drawn Lost     For Against   Points
Bolton Wanderers        22     11     9     2      45    30        42
Sheffield United        21     11     6     4      38    20        39
Barnsley                21     10     8     3      38    26        38
Crystal Palace          21      9     8     4      46    22        35
Wolverhampton Wanderers 21      9     6     6      29    21        33
Tranmere Rovers         22      9     5     8      31    26        32
Norwich City            20      9     5     6      27    21        32
Birmingham City         22      8     8     6      23    21        32
Oxford United           22      8     6     8      27    21        30
Stoke City              20      8     6     6      27    30        30
Swindon Town            22      9     2    11      32    28        29
Charlton Athletic       21      9     2    10      23    29        29
Huddersfield Town       22      7     7     8      25    28        28
Queens Park Rangers     22      7     7     8      25    28        28
Port Vale               22      6    10     6      19    22        28
Ipswich Town            22      6     8     8      27    32        26
MANCHESTER CITY         22      8     2    12      26    35        26
Portsmouth              22      7     5    10      25    29        26
Reading                 22      7     5    10      25    33        26
West Bromwich Albion    21      5    10     6      28    33        25
Southend United         22      5     9     8      23    36        24
Grimsby Town            22      5     6    11      24    41        21
Bradford City           22      5     6    11      21    37        21
Oldham Athletic         22      4     8    10      23    28        20