TRUE BLUE STORIES

Benjamin Bloom

Well, I grew up in a big family. Unfortunateely, their collective IQ was round about the average goals scored by a first division side in a season, (not very high), yes, you've guessed it, they were all Red Bastards! Yes they tried to bring me over to the dark side, and yes they asked me what was the point of me supporting City, coz they've won nowt since '76, but you know I just shrugged my shoulders and told them that they're the real team of Manchester and they're better than the Rags because they don't need money to buy a team, they just play football as it ought to be played. Anyway after the long up and down Eighties, City were finally back in the First. I'd never been to a Derby before so I spent the whole Summer thinking, worrying, praying thaat City would win. It was a relief that City had got one win (over QPR I think) under their belts before this game, so I was living on a weird feeling that this game was gonna change City's future. I went with my Dad, mum and two brothers, (all Rags) and this meant that I had to sit with all those scum. As we went into the game my Dad saidd to me "Ben don't cry when City lose, you're a big boy now, so you've got to be strong" he continued "And if City win..."the whole lot of them burst into hysterical laughter " then keep quiet. Well, I sat down in my seat, surrounded by these scum. City score, I grit my teeth, put my head down into my lap, cover my mouth with my sleeve, and start screaming like a madman. After 10 seconds I raise my head and everyone is looking at me, so thinking quick, I shrug my shoulders and say "Ah S***, they scored!" As you can imagine after this happened five times, they were all consoling me, God they really are dumb assholes aren't they, and telling me it'd be Ok? Anyway September 23 1989 will live in my mind forever as the best result for City over the S***est team in the land.

5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1 5-1.

P.S. What do football and snooker have in common? Blues are 5 and Reds are 1.

C'mon City!